Be grateful you can eat anything

Last night I cried at Pizza Rev in LA. This is not a usual occurrence-me crying in public. Especially not at a make-your-own-pizza-place. As the manager was fixing my pizza: gluten free crust, dairy free cheese (that I still shouldn’t be eating because it has coconut oil in it, which also makes me sick, but it’s my only cheese option), and a ton of other stuff that I hope will make it taste like real pizza, she starts telling me how her doctor suggested she go gluten-free because of eczema. My first thought was, “hey! Great doctor who knows that’s often a symptom of gluten sensitivity!” But then she said she could never go gluten free because she likes bread too much. I love bread. I miss bread. I grew up near a bakery and that was my favorite smell in NYC (the only GOOD smell in NYC). My gluten free pizza has less flavor, and is smaller. And costs more. I wish I could eat cheese.

 I wish, when I visited France, that I could walk into any store or restaurant and eat everything. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t eat ANYTHING. I walked into a candy store in France and said I was gluten free and the woman looked at me and, indicating everything in the store, said, “NO!” She also said that France was getting more educated about allergies and I should, “come back in a few years.” I walked outside and burst into tears. I’m in France NOW. I’m hungry. I already have a headache, and am exhausted and depressed because I simply cannot get waiters to stop giving me things without dairy and gluten in them, no matter how hard I try.

This is not a CHOICE people. Don’t you think I would love to go back to Fairway in NYC and taste my way in cheese around the world? Or have croissants from any bakery? Of course I do. Do I WANT to pay more for every sandwich I find (a rare find) to get bread that does NOT hold together at all and ends up as dust on my plate? No. I do not. So please. Think about what you say. And if you’re eating a slice of real NY pizza now, or a sandwich that was easy to find, or real ice cream, or can walk into any store and find lots of things to eat…be grateful. And don’t shame the rest of us just trying to make it through the day without pain, or falling asleep, or depression, or brain fog, or…