tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72159574410389135762024-03-14T08:21:28.343-07:00Tamar KummelReflections on life and hopefully some words of advice.Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.comBlogger53125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-80503004478933341012023-11-14T10:02:00.000-08:002023-11-14T10:02:28.608-08:00Sleep tips<p><span style="font-family: arial;"> A friend just said they have trouble sleeping. I've had lots of issues from time to time. And I feel like I just really got a handle on it (knock wood). But also, I've read a ton of articles and tried many, many techniques. So I figured I'd share. In no particular order: </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-style: inherit; font-variant-caps: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit; font-weight: inherit;">My newest realization is that I always said, and my parents always said, "Get ready for bed." But that doesn't help your mindset. So don't think, "I'm getting ready for bed." Think, "I'm getting ready for </span><span style="font-style: inherit; font-variant-caps: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit;"><b>sleep</b></span><span style="font-style: inherit; font-variant-caps: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit; font-weight: inherit;">."</span></span></p><ul><li><div style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Very important is to get into a regular habit of going to bed and getting up at the same times, daily. Because otherwise you're just jetlagging yourself on a regular basis. You have to fight through getting up to go to the bathroom (don't drink anything for hours before bed), or eat or walk around. And if there's a night that you stay up late, still get up at the same time. And if you have to take a nap, keep it to 20 minutes. Even if you don't fall asleep but just quietly lay there for 20 minutes. If you nap longer, then it throws your sleep cycle off. </span></div></li><li><div style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial;">If you have lots going through your head, keep a pad and paper nearby, write everything down that you need to think about the next day and then give yourself permission to wait until tomorrow to deal with it. Nothing important will happen overnight. </span></div></li><li><div style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Turn your phone off. </span></div></li><li><div style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Don't eat anything before bed, and no caffeine for many hours before bed. I know I need to not eat anything stimulating after 9. Really 8, depending. </span></div></li><li><div style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial;">gentle stretching/yoga before bed can be helpful. </span></div></li><li><div style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial;">My dad's idea was, after getting into bed, to focus on each part of your body to relax and work your way up from your toes. He said he never made it to his knees, he was already asleep. </span></div></li><li><div style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial;">meditate before bed. Or try any of the apps that have sleep meditation or sleep stories. </span></div></li><li><div style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial;">My new trick I mentioned. Focus on the breathing from your nose. And/or use earplugs. You'll hear yourself breathing louder. I used to focus on a white noise machine. But that didn't always do it. </span></div></li><li><div style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial;">If you have stuff to talk about, do it before you get into bed. </span></div></li><li><div style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Read or play very mindless games. It's not just about relaxing. It's about getting rid of all the thoughts keeping you up. </span></div></li><li><div style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Other people have other tricks. I don't like the idea of medication. It's very addicting, very fast. And you don't want your body getting used to it. </span></div></li><li><div style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial;">If you wake up with a tense jaw, you need a mouthguard to protect your teeth. </span></div></li><li><div style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial;">If you wake up with a stiff back or neck, you probably need a different pillow. </span></div></li><li><div style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Best to sleep on your back so your body lays out flat after sitting a large part of the day. </span></div></li><li><div style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial;">If you roll on your side, try to not tuck your neck. Keep it in line with your back. You don't want to wind up hunched over when you get older. </span></div></li><li><div style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: arial;">When I was young, I found specific music that had a very repetitive guitar (or any instrument) line that I could focus on. I would listen to the song over and over until I meditated/lulled myself to sleep. Easy to do now if you have an Alexa. I used to wake up when the tape ran out and I could take my headphones off and go to sleep! </span></div></li><li><div style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-style: inherit; font-variant-caps: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit; font-weight: inherit;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Relaxing before bed is really important. I sometimes wake up very tense. I have nightmares, and that doesn't help. </span></span></div></li><li><div style="border: 0px; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-style: inherit; font-variant-caps: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit; font-weight: inherit;"><span style="font-family: arial;">A short mantra can help. Like, "I am sleeping."<span style="font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span></span></div></li></ul><div><span style="font-family: arial;">Some added jetlag and beauty tips: </span></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Drink lots of water, just not before bed. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">sleep face-up so fluid doesn't pool, giving you bags under your eyes or a puffy face. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Try to get into the timing of the new location FAST. So force yourself to stay up if you have to. Or go to bed early if you have to. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: arial;">Get into the sunlight and breathe! </span></li></ul><div><span style="font-family: arial;">For more travel tips, see my previous post! </span></div></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">If you appreciate the tips, please forward. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">Be well, sleep well!</span><br /><br /></div>Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-47532229675194774072023-06-22T19:04:00.001-07:002023-06-22T19:04:28.750-07:00Travel Tips (flight and other)<p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;">Several people recently have asked me for
travel tips since I travel a lot. I'm telling you all my secrets, so you better
use them wisely! Flying info is on top, and other travel is below that. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 107%;"><o:p> </o:p></span><b><span style="font-size: 16.0pt; line-height: 107%;">TRAVEL
TIPS FOR FLYING:</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">PACKING: <o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Obviously, don't check a
bag if you don't need to. If you do need to, bring all your valuables, plus a
change of undies and any medication in your carry-on. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I put all the big stuff,
the heavy stuff, the solid stuff, on the bottom (foot) of the bag and the light
stuff that shouldn't be crushed, on the top. I put all clothes into separate
plastic bags and push the air out. Makes more room, and separates it out
for easy finding of stuff. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I pick a color theme for
each trip. And no, it's not always purple. It's usually neutral bases with all
blue, or all purple, or all black, etc. Then I can mix and match as
needed. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Always pack layers. And
always wear your biggest and heaviest shoes and clothes on the flight, so you
don't have to pack them. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I don't wear a purse. If
I need to bring a purse, I take everything out and pack it in my bag. So that
my computer backpack fits under my seat as my personal item. I have shoe
bags, but plastic bags also work, and are useful for wet bathing suits or
laundry, although I also carry a laundry bag (super thin and can suck the air
out). I have nothing that requires ironing. I will roll several dresses
within each other and hope for the best. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Fill shoes or boots with
other stuff. Glasses, or anything that needs protection. I always leave
room in my bag for purchases on the trip. Never over stuff. Then they might
explode, especially if checked. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Since checked bags have
to be 50lbs or under, I put the heaviest thing in my carry-on, like books. And,
like I said, I wear the heaviest stuff too. And I weigh it before I go, again,
leaving enough wiggle room for purchases of heavier things too. Then I
won't worry. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraph" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I have packing lists for
every occasion. And different suitcases for every size and type of trip. The
perfect one for every occasion. They're almost all purple, of course. I have a
cool cover for my checked bags to make them hard to break into, but also easy
to spot. And for other bags, lots of fun ribbons or name tags. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>AIRPLANE SEATING: <o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraph" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When I book, I pick a
row very close to the back, where there’s an empty row. Then I check the seats again
a few weeks before, a few days before, and when I check in to see if there's
still no one sitting next to me. The plane always fills in from the front to
the back, so if you sit all the way in the back (not the last row, those seats
don’t recline) then there's less chance of someone sitting next to you. And of
course, people often travel in pairs, so middle seats fill in last. So if the
plane is getting full, pick an aisle or window seat with an empty middle seat
and chances are it'll stay empty. You can also ask at the airport. And if you
want to be closer to the front to get off faster, pick the masthead. You can't
have your bag in front of you during take off and landing, but only then. The
flight attendants will move them for you and return them. And you have more
legroom, and they leave the seats there empty for wheelchairs. So if they're
not booked, they often stay empty. I just had the whole row to myself (which
happens a lot) because that's where I sat. Great view too. And it was actually
the first row behind First class, so I could even keep my bag under the seat in
front the whole time. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraph" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m right handed, so I
sit in the window with the window to my right. Then I never bump into people. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraph" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I'm also spoiled because
I fly Jetblue and am Mosaic, so I can upgrade to extra space with no cost. And
every time I just ask them if they can keep me away from people as much
as possible. So I get an empty row a lot. And if it's full, at least I
have an extra space seat. I have the Jetblue credit card and use it for
everything. I also have frequent flier numbers for every airline. My #2 airline
is Delta. And I have that connected to all my online purchases so I get points.
You can connect some FF to Lyft, Avis, and other things too. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">FOOD: <o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraph" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 39.2pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I have lots of food restrictions. So I don’t
always know if I’ll have access to food. So I always bring lots of food with
me. And an empty water bottle that I fill at the airport after TSA. Bring
hand cream and eye drops. Get up and walk around when you can, don't cross your
legs. I drink a ton of water before, during and after. Gotta stay
hydrated. No caffeine or alcohol. That just depletes. I put Airborne in my
water. Little extra vitamins/zinc/C<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">TSA and BOARDING: <o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraph" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 39.2pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I have global entry, So I have TSA Pre-check. Totally
worth the cost. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 39.2pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I wear comfy pants and
layers. I don't put on a belt, or jacket, or carry my phone until after I
go through TSA. It's all in an outside pocket in my suitcase so I can breeze
through tsa and then put it all on. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 39.2pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I wear slip-on shoes and
bring fuzzy over-socks with me. I have a scarf that is actually made for travel
and is antibacterial. So I wear that when I get chilly and it's
supposed to give me extra protection. And I got it BEFORE covid! I also
have a blow-up neck pillow. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 39.2pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I take a decongestant
and a nasal spray before take-off. It keeps my sinuses and inner ear clear and
helps me sleep. If it’s a long flight, I’ll do nasal spray just before
landing too. I also sleep on planes. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraph" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 39.2pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l4 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I board the second I can, so that I have first choice
of putting stuff in the overhead. I like being able to keep an eye on it, so I
keep it over my head. But if I really want to be smart or fast, I'll put it in
the first empty overhead closest to the exit. Then I can skooch out fast and
grab it right before deplaning when no one's crowding the aisle. And I can
also get situated before someone is next to me. Get out my headphones. Nasal spray.
Drink water. Bookmark tv/films to watch. Charge my phone, etc. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">JETLAG TIPS: <o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraph" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 39.2pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo5; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I usually go to the bathroom at about 40 minutes
before landing. That's just before descent when the seat belt sign goes on. I
brush my teeth and hair (different brush </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">😉</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">) so that I feel fresh when I deplane and then I
don't need a bathroom in the airport (where the lines are so long) or on the
ride home. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraph" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 39.2pt; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level1 lfo5; text-indent: -.25in; vertical-align: baseline;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Flying West is easier. You won't have too much jetlag.
You'll just wake up earlier. The only thing to get you more into a routine is
to stay up late the first night you land and then you may be on west coast
schedule immediately. Going back east is much harder. You have to try to work your
way into the east coast schedule the last few days of being west. So keep
trying to go to bed earlier and get up earlier, which is hard if you're
working. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><b>FOR OTHER TRAVEL: <o:p></o:p></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">For traveling to places I haven’t been before, I do a ton of
research ahead of time: <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Restaurants I can eat at (bookmarked on yelp)<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Power outlet type<br /></p><br /><br /><o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Local transportation options<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->What currency they use<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Will my phone work there? (I have Verizon, and a
daily international plan for when I use my phone overseas. I try to use local
wifi everywhere so that I’m not using up minutes and can make wifi calls)<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Are there hotels where I have memberships? (M
Life, Hilton, Marriott, etc, all have their own rewards). AAA gets you a
discount in most places, also for car rental. Or AARP. Or SAG AFTRA.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Lastly, I have a complete set of toiletries/makeup/night
creams, etc. All ready to go. So I don’t need to pack that. It’s all set. If I’ve
run out of something on a trip, I refill it as soon as I get home. No full size
liquids! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Lastly, <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I keep a chart like this: <o:p></o:p></p>
<table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="MsoNormalTable" style="border-collapse: collapse; border: none; margin-left: -8.1pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-insideh: .5pt solid windowtext; mso-border-insidev: .5pt solid windowtext; mso-padding-alt: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-table-layout-alt: fixed; mso-yfti-tbllook: 1184; width: 705px;">
<tbody><tr style="height: 33.65pt; mso-yfti-firstrow: yes; mso-yfti-irow: 0; mso-yfti-lastrow: yes;">
<td style="border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 33.65pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 61.9pt;" valign="top" width="83">
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Dates<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
</td>
<td style="border-left: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 33.65pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 53.65pt;" valign="top" width="72">
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Place<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
</td>
<td style="border-left: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 33.65pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 111.5pt;" valign="top" width="149">
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Plane/train/car<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
</td>
<td style="border-left: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 33.65pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 77.8pt;" valign="top" width="104">
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Local transpo<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
</td>
<td style="border-left: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 33.65pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 95.6pt;" valign="top" width="127">
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;">lodging<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
</td>
<td style="border-left: none; border: solid windowtext 1.0pt; height: 33.65pt; mso-border-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; mso-border-left-alt: solid windowtext .5pt; padding: 0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; width: 128.0pt;" valign="top" width="171">
<p class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Comic Sans MS"; font-size: 12.5pt; line-height: 107%;">Notes<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
</td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> (If you can't see the chart correctly, it's DATES, PLACE, Plan/train/car, local transpo, lodging, and NOTES) </span></p><p class="MsoNormal">Then I can easily
keep track of everything I need. Plus a schedule. Then I keep it on my desktop.
Email it to myself, and usually print it too. Then I have it wherever I am. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s the scoop! Be
safe. Be considerate. Have fun. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tamar<o:p></o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi72A7pupMD9w35nqbtxJi7adr-OHfqKynCzmLrJTJhrGwlDJGTFrVzcsiWSRj2cEoy5w7d143Um1bhxBkT0M1OCFCs_5bZnHku2LefTL10t9Cbw5uA_k8bdu0XxvK5A7nqs1DA4htMcyP7LMrVWBV-4GcuPb_DUu7s6wKLGPefn1YkrIP6mpJ1fnjs/s1846/20220509_133926.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1846" data-original-width="1385" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi72A7pupMD9w35nqbtxJi7adr-OHfqKynCzmLrJTJhrGwlDJGTFrVzcsiWSRj2cEoy5w7d143Um1bhxBkT0M1OCFCs_5bZnHku2LefTL10t9Cbw5uA_k8bdu0XxvK5A7nqs1DA4htMcyP7LMrVWBV-4GcuPb_DUu7s6wKLGPefn1YkrIP6mpJ1fnjs/s320/20220509_133926.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmzM-SIKMTNfoHwYGCKM5kdrfMq-LQ8Yss4fKQOPbB2aQZGPnFt8T4-QScf6dwc5qr5YAyuwUDRtSGSRJ1XgguL7DwUOMK5YvgEBkwWPxwexpN24ojw-dqJhlv2lS8JmBB-Vth39rkR2Wd6tY9qfTqScBrFYpoxuI0aVAkT7c7Ull5tn1kzUiQhQSD/s1463/20230610_143126.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1463" data-original-width="1097" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmzM-SIKMTNfoHwYGCKM5kdrfMq-LQ8Yss4fKQOPbB2aQZGPnFt8T4-QScf6dwc5qr5YAyuwUDRtSGSRJ1XgguL7DwUOMK5YvgEBkwWPxwexpN24ojw-dqJhlv2lS8JmBB-Vth39rkR2Wd6tY9qfTqScBrFYpoxuI0aVAkT7c7Ull5tn1kzUiQhQSD/s320/20230610_143126.jpg" width="240" /></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr-03dTM1QhmUK26BHrfl7Bmfdb1bS2rv5IJZxbE6_H8RwawfiM8GQB-pgmpFM1gXiqIYbyEOjfBLt30a2nqb0flAHhHH4eb7xHPumJjYbAIevozU3y8lCiqArO3vlD-Drx_E9qd0piMrk-dDOyus6Nc08mb5NOuId0vsayiFuV7wp8Hv6tTSRgiCp/s2123/20211109_221207.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1592" data-original-width="2123" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr-03dTM1QhmUK26BHrfl7Bmfdb1bS2rv5IJZxbE6_H8RwawfiM8GQB-pgmpFM1gXiqIYbyEOjfBLt30a2nqb0flAHhHH4eb7xHPumJjYbAIevozU3y8lCiqArO3vlD-Drx_E9qd0piMrk-dDOyus6Nc08mb5NOuId0vsayiFuV7wp8Hv6tTSRgiCp/s320/20211109_221207.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /></div><p></p>Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-56747481423352872932021-06-27T13:51:00.004-07:002021-06-27T13:55:35.948-07:00To vaccine or not to vaccine<p>I know for some people, this is not an easy answer. </p><p>For me, I had zero hesitation. I happily get the flu vaccine every year. I've never had a reaction. And I very rarely get the flu. In fact, in general, I'm in better health because of it. I got all my vaccines as a kid, and as I get older and qualify for others, I'll be the first in line. </p><p>I know the covid vaccines are the best options to protect me, protect my loved ones, protect the other people around me, protect my massage clients, and to get back to any regular way of life with big hugs, big smiles, and live entertainment and interpersonal interactions. The reactions are 1,000,000 to 1 to get any sort of major reaction. </p><p>I got the Pfizer vaccine. Both shots, and besides a sore arm, I had zero reaction other than the feelings of hope, and more peace-of-mind that I'm doing my part. </p><p>Recently, I spoke to someone who's not gotten the covid vaccine yet. She believes she had a major reaction to the flu shot years ago, unfortunately, it's the only time she'd ever gotten a flu shot. So I decided to do a little research. </p><p><span style="font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Web (West European)", "Segoe UI", -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">So what I was looking for was a list of ingredients and properties of a flu shot, and then the same of the 3 covid vaccine shots available in the US. Because the flu shot gives dead flu cells that create antibodies but should not cause the flu. The covid vaccines don't actually contain any version of the virus. They contain RNA that's been genetically engineered to look like the covid virus which also creates the antibodies but couldn't give you covid. </span></p><div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Web (West European)", "Segoe UI", -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">This is what I was looking for: </div><div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Web (West European)", "Segoe UI", -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/covid-19/clinical-considerations/covid-19-vaccines-us.html#Appendix-C" id="LPlnk" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/covid-19/clinical-considerations/covid-19-vaccines-us.html#Appendix-C</a><br style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;" /></div><div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Web (West European)", "Segoe UI", -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">and</div><div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Web (West European)", "Segoe UI", -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/cold-flu/flu-shot-ingredients#side-effects" id="LPlnk" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">https://www.healthline.com/health/cold-flu/flu-shot-ingredients#side-effects</a><br style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;" /></div><div class="_Entity _EType_OWALinkPreview _EId_OWALinkPreview_3 _EReadonly_1" contenteditable="false" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Web (West European)", "Segoe UI", -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></div><p>Some other findings that are interesting: </p><div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://www.healthline.com/health-news/think-the-covid-19-vaccine-isnt-good-enough-it-may-be-more-effective-than-the-flu-shot#The-side-effects-seem-to-be-more-intense-with-COVID-19-vaccines" id="LPlnk" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">https://www.healthline.com/health-news/think-the-covid-19-vaccine-isnt-good-enough-it-may-be-more-effective-than-the-flu-shot#The-side-effects-seem-to-be-more-intense-with-COVID-19-vaccines</a><br style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;" /></div><div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></div><div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321207#benefits" id="LPlnk" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321207#benefits</a><br style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;" /></div><div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></div><div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Web (West European)", "Segoe UI", -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">However, the websites do say that the reaction to the covid vaccine is generally the same or stronger than the reaction to a flu shot. And that if you've had an adverse reaction to a flu shot, it may not be recommended to get the covid vaccine. But that you should speak to your doctor about it and determine the best course of action, or maybe the safest shot for you to get. </div><div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Web (West European)", "Segoe UI", -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;" /></div><div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Web (West European)", "Segoe UI", -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I also know of people that have gotten covid, or gotten sick at the same time as the flu or covid shot, but it wasn't from the shot. It was that they were otherwise exposed and just happen to get very sick at the same time, because it takes 2 weeks after the shot to develop the antibodies and protect you. So if you happen to have already been exposed and have it in your system, the shot won't help that day. </div><div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Web (West European)", "Segoe UI", -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;" /></div><div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Web (West European)", "Segoe UI", -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">There are new options frequently. And generally strong reactions are 1 in a million and will quickly go away, as opposed to getting covid, which doesn't guarantee you'll ever get better. But I do recommend checking the cdc.gov website for up-to-date information and to speak to your doctor. </div><div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Web (West European)", "Segoe UI", -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></div><div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Web (West European)", "Segoe UI", -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">I also some people waiting for the vaccines to be approved by the FDA and not just for emergency use. But if you've seen my documentary, "<a href="http://fightingforallergyfreefood.com" target="_blank">Fighting For Allergy-Free Food</a>" you'll know that the FDA is not the end-all be-all for protecting us the way we want. The reason the vaccines were developed so quickly, is partially because the researchers/scientists already knew that a global pandemic would most likely be on the horizon. We'd had major scares before with Sars and Ebola and an airborne one was just around the corner. They were already working on the technology and knew it had to be done fast, safely, and efficiently. They couldn't start testing yet, but they each did the same extensive testing that all vaccines do. It just happened a little faster than we knew, because it had to. I know several people who were in the vaccine trials and I appreciate them. For more answers, look at the CDC.gov website. </div><div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Web (West European)", "Segoe UI", -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;" /></div><div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: "Segoe UI", "Segoe UI Web (West European)", "Segoe UI", -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Please keep wearing your mask, washing your hands, be considerate of all others whether or not you agree with them, and be well!<br style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased;" /><br /></div>Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-12997811733516158192021-03-15T16:51:00.001-07:002021-03-15T16:51:13.623-07:00Early warning signs of dementia. A love letter to future caregivers. <p> </p><p class="MsoNormal">“<b><span style="background: white; color: #202124; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;">7.7 million</span></b><span style="background: white; color: #202124; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"> new cases are diagnosed every year, with
47.5 million people living with dementia worldwide.” Braintest.com<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="background: white; color: #202124; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a warning from
someone who is dealing with loved ones with the disease. The true story of the
earliest warning signs and other guidance. </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My Mom: <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The early signs of my mom’s dementia were so subtle that I
totally missed them. That was maybe 10 years ago and she just passed 3 months
ago. Sorry to give away the ending. But I wish that I hadn’t ignored any
warning signs of my mom’s or dad’s dementia, or any other signs and fought hard
to get people to listen. That’s why I’m telling you. Pay attention. Little
changes can mean a lot. And the earlier it’s caught, the better. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My mom thought that by doing puzzles daily she would stave
off dementia. She saw her oldest sister, 4 years older, lose her mind and be
nearly catatonic in a nursing home. No one wants that. But my mom’s hearing was
very bad. Not very bad. Very, very, very, bad. Almost gone. If she didn’t have
her hearing aids in, you could scream next to her and she had no idea you were
there. With the hearing aids, everything was still garbled, but at least half
the time she knew you were talking to her. There’s a funny thing with hearing
aids. The sound comes from a little speaker that throws the listener off as to
where the sound is coming from. So you’d have to tap her arm as if to say,
“look at ME. I’m the one who’s speaking.” And then, with Corona Virus/Covid-19,
everyone was wearing masks so you really couldn’t tell who was speaking. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I think my mom gave up trying to listen or communicate many,
many years ago. And that undoubtedly was a contributor to the dementia. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My mom was always sweet, quiet, quirky. And definitely
anxious. She always had to check doors and windows to make sure they were
locked. Check the stove. Check the lights. But at some point it became much
worse. And I had no idea that could be an early sign. I’d stay with my parents,
in their giant old house, where I went to high school and if I was the last one
to go up for the night, she’d say, “Do you know how to turn the lights off?”
Yes, of course I do. She didn’t trust me to lock the door. Or the windows. Or
turn lights out. And sometimes I’d make fun of her, and sometimes I’d get
really angry that she acted like I was 4 years old. How could I have possibly
made it this far in life without knowing how to turn off a light?! Or lock a
door? Could I find my way upstairs? How do you turn the faucet off? Good grief
it was frustrating. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now I realize that could have been an early sign. Her mind
was already playing tricks and I was upset because I felt she trusted me less
than she used to. But I think she trusted herself and everyone around her less.
She was starting, very, very slowly, almost imperceptibly to become paranoid.
Almost. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">At one point, my mom said something that made no sense to me
at all. She questioned whether everything I did for them was really to be
trusted. She thought if my dad passed away first, would I suddenly completely
change everything she knew about me as a person, abscond with all their money
and leave my mom on the street? I had to assure her that as long as I was
alive, my parents would be taken care of no matter who went first. And she felt
better. Briefly. Those thoughts seem to pop up periodically. I knew that was
dementia. But since she seemed so lucid 99% of the time, I reacted each time as
if she’d slapped me. Terribly hurt. Angry. Confused. Never stopping to say to
myself, “It’s the dementia, it’s not her.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Both my parents started to show the same sign of dementia at
the same time. Their personalities totally changed. One became much nicer, one
became much more angry and moody. Their reactions were so unpredictable. And
again, these are not big things to other people. But my mom never cried, ever.
I saw her cry once my whole life. And in the last few years, she was teary all
the time. I saw her yell at people. I saw her insult people. And if you didn’t
know her from before, you’d think it was all perfectly normal. But it wasn’t.
My dad was the opposite. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It is brutally hard to continually tell yourself that the
personalities that your parents, or loved ones have assumed are not real. You
think it’s like someone who’s on truth serum: there must be something true in
what they’re saying, even if it doesn’t sound like something they’d say. And
it’s very hard to not take it personally. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Another sign I missed: At one point, my father had a
nosebleed. I was visiting and in the guest room. My mom came running for me to
help him. When I walked into their room and bathroom, it looked like a horror
film massacre. Blood everywhere. And my dad’s nose still gushing. He’s not
patient and he’s not up on first aid like I am. You have to pinch the nostrils
together until the blood clots. That can take 10 minutes. But you sit up and
pinch like your life depends on it, which it does. Because I could see my dad
had clearly lost a lot of blood and we HAD to get it to stop asap. I yelled at
him in a voice he did not recognize. “NO. This is unacceptable! You pinch that
until I tell you to stop and not before then. Understand?!” He understood and
we got the bleeding under control. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So what was my mom doing during this? Was she concerned
about my dad? Calling 911? No. She was very upset about the blood on the old
carpet and everywhere and was busy cleaning and paying absolutely no attention
to us. I thought this was crazy. But I did not realize it was a sign of
dementia. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My mom grew more and more tired as the years went on. She
would get up, get dressed, take a nap. Have lunch. Take a nap. Do a puzzle.
Take a nap. All day, every day. And I realized at one point that my dad’s
hearing (or powers of perception) were lacking just enough that he wasn’t
listening closely to her when she slept. When I listened to her breathing while
napping, I knew she had something wrong and immediately called her doctor
(always have their doctors’ numbers) and brought her in. Turns out she had
congestive heart failure. That sounds awful. But there wasn’t too much to do
besides meds. And she lived with it for the rest of her life. It was horrible
to hear. She always sounded like she could be taking her last breath. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">5 years ago, when my dad had a series of strokes (I’ll get
back to that), my boyfriend and I took my mom to an assortment of nearby
assisted living facilities in case he wasn’t coming home. Or couldn’t come
home. We didn’t tell him. And I told my mom to NOT say anything to him about
it. If he came through well, he’d go back home. And at some point we would
broach the subject together. But the second we walked into his room at rehab,
my mom started raving about one of the places we saw. Of course my dad
completely panicked, thinking he was never going home again and causing hell. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That was definitely a problem with my mom and her neural
wiring. Or her memory. Or more. She had definitely begun to repeat herself a
bit. Or be forgetful. But she would blame everything on her hearing. “Oh, I
must not have heard you.” No. We had many discussions on each topic and then
she’d do something rogue right after. Again, extremely frustrating. And hard to
tell what she did on purpose, and what she didn’t. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My mom, with the mild dementia and exhaustion, was still
very productive. At least I thought she was. When she was 88 she’d been asking
for a place to display her art. She was an extraordinary visual artist of all
sorts. And she was asking for a place with a lot of specifications. She probably
thought it was impossible, and so she could complain for the rest of her life,
never having to actually do a solo art show. But surprise, we found a place
that met all her criteria. They were booked up a year and half in advance. And
when I said they accepted her that far ahead, she said, “I’ll be dead by then!”
And I said, “What if you’re not?!” And she said, “Then I don’t have enough
time!” Turns out, she was very much alive and we hung 91 painting a month after
she turned 90. She spent all 18 months working to organize the show, what to
hang, where to hang, how to hang, how to frame, what records, what prices. And
when we went to hang the paintings, it wasn’t going to work at all the way she
planned. And she hadn’t prepared for taking orders well at all. I don’t
understand what she did for all those months. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">However, now that she’s gone and I’m going through all her
things and papers, I realized I missed so many signs. She was a depression
baby. Born in 1926 and learned to save everything. EVERYTHING. Fix things you
can fix. Repurpose everything you can. Save broken things for parts. Save
everything because it might be salable. But now I see she saved thousands and
thousands of tiny pieces of paper with almost nothing on them. She had the same
“important” list of phone numbers written on 100’s of index cards or pads or
paper. She had a cell phone, but towards the end she couldn’t remember how to
use it. She had over 20 file cabinets hidden all over the house and garage with
the same file names and the same things in different files. She printed every
email she ever got, and saved every one of them. Occasionally she would try to
throw things out, but she’d never get very far. And now I realize she didn’t
get anywhere at all with that. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When I’d gotten her the interview for the solo art show,
they needed to review all her art ONLINE. Of course she had nothing online. So
I asked her for photos of all her artwork. She constantly took photos of
absolutely everything. So I knew she had them. And she had a computer. So I
said to show me where the files are and how they’re sorted. Keep in mind, she
was an executive secretary at Bloomingdales at one point in her life. And loved
reading. I know she was literate. And I know she knew how to alphabetize. But
her files in her computer were this: Marion’s art. Within that: Marion’s art.
Within that: Marion’s art. Thousands of photos, tons of duplicates, tons of
photos of the same paintings taken many times and from bad angles with poor
lighting. Nothing was organized by year, by name, by art modality, nothing. I
had to try to sort it all out and guess which was watercolor, which was oil,
which was pen and ink, and on and on. That was probably a big warning sign. But
I missed it. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The biggest change came when she had an incident 2 ½ years
ago. Her blood pressure shot through the roof and she was out of it. Luckily,
it was a day when her assistant, a nurse, was there. And she took her to the
ER. I was in Los Angeles at the time. She wasn’t getting better. I said to
please let me know if/when I need to fly to NH, where they were. She was
surrounded (the exact right week in the summer for this) by tons of family and
friends. But of course, no one advocates like me. And clearly no one knew her
like me. She’d been in the hospital for 2 days when I arrived. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This was not the woman I had seen a few weeks before. The
woman I left was deaf, tired, a little confused at times, a bit repetitive, and
might walk with a cane occasionally. This woman was completely out of it, could
barely walk, and the 1 sign I saw right away: she reached for something with
her left hand. She was right-handed. So that tiny reach was enough, along with
slurry speech to know that she’d had a stroke. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I went to the nurse’s station to talk to the doctor. Me:
“When did she have a stroke?” Doctor: “She didn’t. We tested her when she came
in.” Me: “Test her again. She’s had a stroke.” There had literally been 20
friends and family in her room non-stop. My father, another story, hadn’t left
her side since she’d been admitted. But no one thought that the doctors might
not have caught everything. She was 91. They assumed she already needed a
walker and had no memory. Later that day, her older sister came to visit.
Bouncing in, no cane or anything. Fully dressed with makeup and jewelry, and
being the bright light of energy she still is. I walked her up to the nurse’s
station. Me: “THIS is my mom’s OLDER sister. THIS is what my mom was like a few
weeks ago.” Doctor: “Oh!” Damn right, “oh”. How had they not asked the right questions
to know the difference? <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It’s a problem with our medical system that when people are
admitted through the ER, they may be given a whole new team of doctors. Doctors
that didn’t know what the patient was like a day before. So if their mental
capacity or physical capacity is greatly diminished, the doctors won’t know. So
you have to ask questions. You can’t assume things, no matter how old the
patient is. I was very glad I was there. Although it was definitely the
toughest week I’ve ever had. That was the week I lost my mom as I knew her.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My mom was tested for a stroke and it was found she’d had a
unique type of stroke that was like 100 tiny strokes all over her brain. And
they had no idea what it would effect. They kept her in the hospital for 10
days before moving her to rehab. After many weeks there, it was clear she could
not go home, but would have to be in assisted living from now on. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In most ways, my mom seemed to recover fully from the
stroke. She seemed to be herself. But the decline was quick and subtle at the
same time. There are so many situations in life where the circumstances
continue to change, but in such a slight way, that you don’t realize how
different things are until it’s too late. And this was one of those situations.
My mom still presented like who she was. She could convince anyone, including
doctors that she was totally in her right mind. And being a little “off” to
start with undoubtedly helped. But I knew that she was not herself at all. And
yet it didn’t stop me from being constantly upset, angry, frustrated, teary,
furious, sad, confused and just utterly mentally exhausted having to be with
her. This woman. This woman that loves me tremendously, but is so challenging
to be with for more than a few minutes. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My mom always had a brain for puzzles. Or criminals. She loved
mysteries. And she loved trying to find answers. But it also made her not trust
anyone. I’m sure there was much in her background that also contributed to
that. But in her last few years, she’d become convinced that people were
stealing from her. First it was stuff that almost made sense to steal: jewelry,
antiques. But then it became pants, pens, a sweater, anything at all. And she
was desperately upset that people were not believing her. Or really that I
wasn’t believing her. Because other people were smart enough to just nod their
head and say, “oh, sorry.” But I kept trying to reason with her. Even though
people told me you can NOT reason with someone with dementia. But what she was
accusing people of was SO illogical that I thought for sure if I said, “WHY
would someone steal your pants?” That she’d realize how ridiculous it was.
She’d leave little notes everywhere for the “thief” asking them to return
things. Of course, all thieves return things when asked nicely? She said people
kept telling her that she was hiding her own stuff. And that made her so upset.
She swore up and down that she was not. And I thought she wasn’t. I thought she
was remembering things from long ago and now she thinks they’re gone. Or
something would fall behind something else and they’d never find it. When she
left the hospital each time, and there were many times, they’d pack her stuff
in big white shopping bags. Those bags would get sent home with her, but she’d
never put anything away. So at one point I found scores of bags in their big
walk-in closet filled with “missing” items from the past year or so. At one
point, I showed her photos of her family jewelry that I had, to prove that they
had not been stolen. She insisted that the thief must have returned them to me.
For the last year, she wore a small bag around her neck that had keys to her lockboxes.
When she passed, I had to look for the keys because they were no longer in the
bag. One lockbox key got mixed in with 100’s of random keys, and the key to the
other box was within that box. Took me weeks to get them open. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When someone has dementia, but doesn’t think they do, it’s
an uphill fruitless battle every day. Trying to convince them that their memory
plays tricks on them is temporary if at all helpful. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My mom had one thing in her favor. She was happy to go into
assisted living. She was tired of cooking every day. She had no issue with me
taking over her bills. And she knew what she wanted for end-of-life choices. So
her Living Will and DNR were taken care of. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Unfortunately, both my parents had trusts. And Power Of Attorney
doesn’t work for Trusts. They only go to the next trustee when that person has
passed, or when they are no longer to handle it themselves. But almost no one
is willing to say that they are no longer capable of controlling their own
finances. Especially when trust issues abound. I asked her doctor for a letter
saying she’s no longer capable of controlling her own finances and that I
should be appointed. Her doctor wouldn’t do it. Instead, she wrote a letter
saying that my mom was capable of appointing a successor herself. And so I had
to write another letter saying that she appointed me, and get her to sign both.
She had absolutely no idea what she was signing. It was 1 sentence long. But
she didn’t understand it. And yet, her doctor thought she was fine?! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Towards the end, my mom kept saying that I was trying to
keep her alive. I was not. Her body was keeping her alive. She had no illnesses
or conditions that we were treating aggressively. No prognosis we were
fighting. Her body, no matter how tired, would not give in. We had the DNR on
the fridge, the hospice number on the phone, but we had to wait for her body to
catch up with her heart’s wishes. She kept telling people that I was not ready
to let her go. But I was ready 2 ½ years prior when I saw her in that hospital
bed after her stroke. At that time, while in the hospital, I handed her a pad
of paper and a pencil so she could sketch. But she did not understand anymore
how to hold the pencil. I knew if she couldn’t paint, she didn’t want to be
around. She began talking to the air as if her mother and grandmother were with
her. I absolutely did not want her to continue in this state. No one wants to
watch their loved one suffer and deteriorate. I would not be selfish enough to
want her to stick around. I wanted those invisible loved ones to gently take
her with them. But that didn’t happen. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That finally came 2 ½ years later. 2 ½ very long, very
painful, very sad years. Her body finally gave out. And we got 3 days with her,
knowing this was the end. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My Dad: <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The early sign of my dad’s dementia was not subtle. But I
still ignored it. I ignored too many things that I look back on and shake my
fist at myself in the mirror and think, “why on earth didn’t I do something
then?!” <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">As I mentioned, his personality changed. Always a challenge
to get any affection or kind words, now he was softer and more reflective. That
can be just as unnerving. I would tell people and they would say, “that’s so
nice. He’s softening in his old age.” No. He has dementia and this is NOT him. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I have other friends with a parent who has narcissistic
personality disorder. You spend most of your childhood wishing your parent
would actually act like they cared about you. Or say they love you or are proud
of you. I spent most of my life never hearing that from my dad. And when he was
in his 90’s, it happened. He said the words I desperately craved when I was a
teenager. But by then, not only was it too late, but I didn’t trust it. I
didn’t believe it was him. I knew it meant he had dementia. And I did not
appreciate the sentiment. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My dad will turn 98 in May, if he lives that long. So it was
almost 8 years ago that we had a big party and reunion for his 90<sup>th</sup>
birthday. A weekend of events. My dad, ever the showman (putting it nicely)
requested a lectern and head table for his big dinner. We had 60 people. He told
me that there should be speeches. Like a roast, or eulogies but while he’s
alive. I told 3 people to prepare and they came from as far as the middle of
the country to speak. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The dinner came, and I said to him, “Let me know when you
want the speeches to happen.” He said, “Speech. Just one. Me.” I have never
spoken as firmly to him as I did at that moment. “NO. You said people should
speak, and I have 4 people who’ve been working on it and WILL be speaking
tonight. So you tell me WHEN!” He knew to let me have this win. My father’s
always been an amazing orator. But this night was not his best. When he did
finally take over the lectern, his words went on forever and seemed to amble in
no particular direction. Sign 1. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My boyfriend took photos that weekend in 2013. My father
printed a photo and framed it, and wrote just below it: 1985. Sign 2. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">As I’ve mentioned, my father’s challenging. He is perhaps
the most stubborn man alive. And even when he was in the hospital for weeks, he
would not let me go through his mail or even see if there were bills. He said
they could wait. He couldn’t be in the hospital forever. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Over the years, several of us tried to convince him to stop
driving. “Everything in town is within walking distance anyway. And plenty of
friends would drive you places. And you always said in your later years you’d
hire a driver.” “I did? No I didn’t.” I understand. Driving is one of the last
signs that you’re still in control of your life. Your body. But again, subtle
changes creep up until one’s driving is completely unsafe, and they don’t see
it, or won’t admit it. And my dementia’d mom was certainly no help. She’d say,
“Oh I won’t drive with him.” But then she would. She would say, “Oh, I won’t
drive with him unless I HAVE to.” You don’t have to. Find another ride. If only
there were cabs and Uber in their rural area. But there isn’t. And they don’t
have smart phones to get one. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">At one point, I was visiting them in their home and I heard
a message on the answering machine (yes, they still had an answering machine)
from the police asking for my dad. I asked him about it. He said don’t worry
about, it’s all taken care of. “What is?” I asked. “I sideswiped a car in the
parking lot across the street. It was nothing. I didn’t even know I did it.” I
said, “You HIT a car and didn’t even know you did it?!” He got angry, “I didn’t
HIT a car. I just sideswiped it! It’s fine.” <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Well how do you argue with logic like that? If you don’t
know that that’s NOT fine, I can’t convince you. But I definitely insisted on
driving every time I visited. And started to call their friends asking for
rides for them. Anything to get in the way of his driving. Just one of many
ways I was pulling strings behind their backs for their own safety. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Years later, when they moved into assisted living, my dad
finally completely gave up the keys for the cars and even sold them. Shortly
after, I was at the doctor’s with him and he mentioned how he was going a
little blind and had no feeling in his feet. And I could not stop myself from
yelling, “AND YOU WERE DRIVING?!” I had asked his doctor for a note to the DMV
many times, and he wouldn’t do it. I wrote to the DMV asking them to revoke his
license. No luck. Aren’t they supposed to regularly test drive people over 80?
Not my dad. He’s running into posts and cars and everyone just lets him keep
going. I did have numerous conversations with him, and with my mother about
taking away the keys. But it was never completely done until they moved. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">As I said, my dad was never going to let me take over the
bills, or take over the trust. For that, I had to get lawyers involved. And
doctors writing notes (much easier than my mom), and friends to talk to him
about paperless bills and autopay. And finally, after years of begging, he
asked me to switch his bills to autopay. It took 10 months to eventually find
all the bills that he pays on a regular basis. Unlike other dementia folks, he
had never forgotten to pay a bill. No. My dad paid the same bill up to 3 times.
How he thought he was still keeping immaculate records, I have no idea. And
now, he doesn’t trust any of our financial statements. He’s convinced he only
has like $20 in the bank. Luckily, that’s not at all true. But it’s also
entirely because I fought to get control of his trust, his bills, and his
accounts. Some things are worth the fight and this is one of those things. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Sign 3. My boyfriend and I were visiting my parents in their
home. About 5 years ago. I was sitting talking to my dad. And he suddenly
couldn’t speak. He didn’t have the ability to form words. It lasted maybe 10
seconds and then he was back. I saw it happen twice. I thought it was a TIA
that passed. Which would mean a stroke could be coming. But they were actually
mini strokes. And he had a ton of them. It wasn’t until the next day when, in
front of a class he was presenting at, he had one in front of a nurse that
said, “Call the ambulance. He’s having a stroke.” Would it have made any
difference if I’d rushed him to the ER the night before? He’d been in the ER 2
nights before already for something else. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When my mom was in
the hospital and rehab, my dad never left her side. This sounds sweet, but it
was incredibly irresponsible on my dad’s part. He had Parkinson’s and Diabetes.
He has regular medicine and insulin to take. He needs good sleep and regular
meals. None of the above could happen while barely sleeping at her bedside in a
hospital. The nurses are there for her, not for him. He was completely
unconcerned for himself, which undoubtedly contributed to his decline. Plus, he
insisted that he could protect my mom. A 93-year-old man, without his meds can
not help more than the doctors. It might be a little comforting to my mom, if
she was coherent. But at one point, overnight, my mom who could not walk or
function during the day, got out of bed, took off all her clothes, and walked,
unassisted out to the nurses’ station and asked what party was going on. My dad
slept through it. At one point my cousins took him home from the hospital to
shower. They called me after he’d been upstairs for an hour asking how long it
takes him to shower. He’d fallen in his closet and spent the next 30 minutes
working up a sweat trying to get up. And yet, he insisted that he did not need
help in any way. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When my mom was in rehab after the stroke, we were told that
she could not go home. Too many stairs, too many rugs, not enough help. She was
going to have to go to Assisted Living. This is how it often happens. Someone
falls or has a stroke and now their home is no longer safe for them to return
to. If we had not already looked at assisted living places, I would not have
had an idea where to move them. I had a week to coordinate getting them into a
unit. The place was kind enough to lend them furniture to start with. And I set
up utilities, picked a moving company and attempted the most difficult
conversations I’ve ever had to have with my father. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Me: “She has to go to assisted living. She can’t go home.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My dad thought that was ridiculous. He could take care of
her. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Me: “No you can’t. She needs nurses. She needs someone else
to cook. She’s been cooking for YOU all this time. You don’t know how. We have
2 floors. She can’t walk. Do you want to go with her or not?”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My dad, that day, said he’d go wherever she went. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But each day his story kept changing: “We can go there until
she’s better. Then we’ll go home.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My dad: “I don’t want to look at the apartment. We’re not
moving in there.” Every day I fought with him. Someone else convinced him to
pick an apartment. But once they were there, he would call me to say he was
leaving. “well,” I’d say, “You have no car, and no one’s going to drive you,
and there are no cabs. So good luck.” I literally called friends saying, “If
you see him walking along the highway, let me know. Don’t drive him home. Call
the police.” He needed to be there just as much as she did. But he fought me
every day. No grab bar. No hospital bed. No cane. No walker. The number of
times he said, “I didn’t fall. I slid down the wall. I could have gotten up if
I wanted to. I decided to stay on the ground and rest first.” On and on. Daily.
<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Did I know if his fighting was dementia or just his normal
personality? I did not. But his sense of logic was certainly gone. He loves
being with people. He loves activities and culture and meeting people. If he’d
embraced being at the really lovely assisted living, he’d have made tons of
friends quickly and enjoyed every activity. But instead, he sulked and snapped
and complained and threatened. While my mom was super happy to be waited on
hand and foot and never have to cook again. He insisted on fighting for every
bit of independence he still had. He didn’t want to lose any abilities. But he
had already lost them. I was trying to make him comfortable. Make their lives
easier, safer. But they would continue to fight me on everything. Again, some
fights you have to have. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">A constant conversation I had with both my parents was to
say, “I’m not trying to keep you alive. I’m trying to make you safer,
healthier, more comfortable while you are still alive.” I was never doing any
extraordinary measures. They’re not hooked up to anything. Just use the damn
walker so you stop falling every 20 feet. Admit that you’re falling so we can
get you physical therapy to help with balance. But no. He’d rather stay in
denial. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In his late 80’s, my dad started falling. He made excuses
for it every time. He tripped on his laces. He missed a step. His glasses
weren’t sitting well for him to see. But at 90, he fell down the flight of
stairs in their house and went unconscious for a moment, then woke up confused.
My mom did not call 911 as instructed by me. She called ME. Within 1 minute, my
dad was on the phone. “Who is this?! What did you call her?! I’m fine. Leave me
alone.” If this happens to your loved one. Call 911 and get an ambulance there.
The fact that he was never checked out by a doctor each time drives me crazy. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The next time I saw him, which was less than a week later, I
knew he had Parkinson’s. His gait had changed, his face was more static, his
dementia was more apparent. I called his doctor. “He has Parkinson’s.” “I
haven’t seen any indication.” He said. “I don’t care. He has it. You have to
get him into your office now.” The doctor said, “I can’t bring him in without
cause. I just saw him recently.” I said, “Lie. I don’t care. You have to bring
him in.” This fight went on for 10 months. My dad presents well, as many people
do, in front of doctors. So they never see the signs that we do. At the end of
10 months, they finally tested and said yes, he had Parkinson’s. Very bizarre
since he hadn’t shown any symptoms prior to that fall. But now it was obvious
to several of us. Just not my mom. And she would continually forget he had it
over the years. In fact, she’d forget and get upset that, “no one told her.”<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This is not something that’s known. But people can still get
diagnosed with Parkinson’s and other diseases at 90. I thought we were in the
clear. My parents had out lived all the horrible diseases. But no. There’s
little research on later Parkinson’s, because people that age usually don’t
live long enough for a trial to follow them. But the progression can be slower
and there are some medicines that can be beneficial. My aunt had Progressive Supranuclear
Palsy. That’s also a motor-neuron disease similar to Parkinson’s and ALS. My
dad never told his doctor that his baby sister had died from that. But if he
had, his doctor might have looked closer for warning signs. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So now, I’m in a support group that talks once a week. I
have a therapist. I have incredibly supportive friends and family. But I’m an
only child and the brunt of this falls on me. I know my parents better than
anyone. I know their needs and wants. I know their finances. I know what antiques
in their massive house are from family and which are from auction. I know which
paintings are done by my mom, even if they’re not signed. I recognize photos of
them as children and every stage in between. I worry I will spend the rest of
my life dealing with their stuff in the house, and the house. And I still have
my father to advocate for in every way, whether he likes it or not. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I did not want to be a caregiver. I did not ask for it. I
prayed that my parents would be healthy until they died in their sleep. But
that did not happen. They started a slow, subtle decline that continues with my
dad until this day. I had other careers. But now, my job is caregiver (mostly
from a distance), coordinator, buyer, financial planner, accountant, advocate,
doctor’s assistant, and everything else that goes with the caregiver role. This
is a full-time job. It is not fun. It does not feel rewarding. I don’t wish it
on anyone else. I would rather be doing almost anything else. But my parents
would do this for me and so I must do it for them. They did their best for me,
and I will do my best for them. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">This is not an easy job. No two situations are alike. My
parents are unique unto themselves and although some people have similar fights
with their loved ones, each one is riddled with a rich history of its own. I
did not know what I was doing or how to handle any of this when I started. It’s
a learn-on-the-job kinda deal. I can not say how long my dad will live. Or what
he’ll be like tomorrow. His path will not be exactly the same as that of your
loved one. All I can tell you is to watch for the earliest warnings signs you
can. Because the sooner you gather your team of support, the better. You will
need it. Don’t stop asking for help from everyone, especially their doctors. Also
their friends, their family, your friends, your doctors. You must continue to
find ways to take care of yourself. And fight like hell, but only on special
occasions. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Resources: <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/ConditionsAndTreatments/dementia-early-signs">Early
signs of dementia.</a><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://parkinsonsdisease.net/elderly-population/">Older
onset Parkinson’s</a><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://www.psp.org/iwanttolearn/progressive-supranuclear-palsy/">Progressive Supranuclear Palsy</a><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">If you are caring for a loved one, I highly recommend you
join a support group. There are many through hospitals, aging resource centers,
Actor’s Fund, Facebook and many more. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">There are also many books on caring for aging parents,
narcissistic parents, difficult parent, dementia care and much more. I highly
recommend them <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Feel free to post any more recommended
books/films/resources. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></p>Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-46313740256979626112021-01-11T19:19:00.000-08:002021-01-11T19:19:08.213-08:00Dear President-Elect Biden<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal">Dr. President-Elect Biden,<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Congratulations on
winning the election. I look forward to having someone sane running the
country. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have never written
to a President before. I waited until I had something I felt was important enough
to say. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When the pandemic
hit, I had no idea what was coming. I was woefully naïve about how long it
would continue to effect our daily lives. But I was encouraged by one single
thought: That the President could absolutely no longer continue to say things
like, “America First” and focus only on what’s “best” for the USA, because we
were now in a GLOBAL situation. We would all be in this TOGETHER. It was a
spiritual opportunity. And if we wanted to find solutions, we were going to
have to work together as members of a global alliance. I stupidly pictured
leaders across the world discussing what worked for their country, and others
following suit. Sharing research, ideas, supplies and hope. That’s something I
constantly wonder why we don’t do more of in general. What country has the best
education system, the best health care, the least cancer, the happiest people, etc?
But of course, I was terribly, depressingly, completely wrong. Once Corona hit
the US, it was no longer an international story in the news. It became our
story alone. I was again completely disheartened by our “leadership” and their
total lack of foresight, compassion, understanding, and in fact, their humanity.
I sincerely hope we will not continue to make the same mistake and miss the chance
to unite with countries around the world and work together to bring this
pandemic to an end. And I hope the media follows suit. I want to be as aware of
what’s happening around the world as they are aware of our embarrassing daily
news cycle. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those are the burning
hopes I have for our country. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Since you’ve read this far, I would also like to say that I
would have no problem understanding if you moved the inauguration to somewhere small
and safe. Just televise it. We really don’t need to put everyone at risk. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Lastly, although I understand the importance of having senator’s
and representative’s votes be known by their constituents, I also find there
would be great benefit to have certain votes be completely anonymous. I believe
in my heart of hearts that if there were anonymous votes on issues such as
impeaching the President, you’d have a lot more votes agreeing with the
democrats. Because Trump couldn’t threaten people if he didn’t know how they
voted. I understand the legislative process in this country is based on
transparency, but sometimes you need to make decisions behind closed doors to
get things done. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please be safe.
Please be healthy. And very best of luck in your new endeavor. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Sincerely, Tamar <o:p></o:p></p>Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-84729784312891371542020-11-24T14:31:00.004-08:002020-11-24T14:34:21.986-08:00Think outside your pandemic box<p> As I write this, over 250,000 people have lost their life to
Covid-19 in the US. But that number doesn’t account at all for the elderly
people that have passed, and will pass very shortly because of the lack of
care, touch and human connection that Covid-19 has made impossible. My parents
have been in assisted living in NH for the past 2 ½ years. A month ago, they
were 97 and 93. Both in terrible, fragile condition. And quarantined in their
small apartment without being allowed visitors most of the time. Each one
landed in the hospital for extended periods of time, without being able to see
each other or communicate at all, due to lack of email, and lack of hearing,
and not being allowed out or in, for any reason. Periodically, I could drive by
and wave from 20 feet away, which feels much sadder than anything. During the
warm months and the lower numbers, I could visit them outside, wearing masks,
from 6 feet away, and not allowed to touch them. So the only touch they had,
was from their 24 hour caregivers, and that’s mostly for personal care, not tenderness.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We lost my mom 10
days ago. 2 days shy of her 94<sup>th</sup> birthday. Not from covid. Because I was her DPOA,
they made an exception and let me be with her. Because I’d come from
out-of-state, I almost couldn’t. If we’d put her in a hospice center, I would
have only been allowed 1 hour every 24 hours. My dad was allowed, but required
a 24 hour caregiver himself. And only 3 people maximum were allowed to visit
per day. So it was complicated. But we’re still lucky compared to the thousands
and thousands of people dying alone. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their assisted living
has not had any outbreaks. But they’re still losing people. And guaranteed it’s
the same story all over the world for anyone that is by themselves, but
especially the older generation who doesn’t know how to zoom, can’t hear on the
phone, and isn’t allowed to be visited or touched. People die without being
touched. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What do I want? I
want it to be part of the conversation. I want group living facilities to
figure out how to safely have visitors and hugs. I want more empathy in this
country. Because maybe YOU don’t care about getting sick, or making your family
sick. But if you’re not wearing a mask, physically distancing, staying home
most of the time, and washing your hands like you’re going into surgery…you’re
prolonging this pandemic for everyone else. And every sick person, not just
every deceased person, has a whole community of people that need them, love
them, and will miss them. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We can save lives if we do things together. I’ll do it for
you. You do it for me. Because those numbers don’t tell the whole story. <o:p></o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZM2X0tFoCkvzmJDAzTh0Cp5rn9ALuhdg8WPKLAiTcyggGTtZldbIv7kH-VVaDFLXRWNstIIwwj5E05krb3rSjjpYgeEtTo9N2GIwg2JdaetZba-WX-ht2s49baSY-IU8cdwU3hoLd6A/s717/Marion_Kummel.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="717" data-original-width="560" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZM2X0tFoCkvzmJDAzTh0Cp5rn9ALuhdg8WPKLAiTcyggGTtZldbIv7kH-VVaDFLXRWNstIIwwj5E05krb3rSjjpYgeEtTo9N2GIwg2JdaetZba-WX-ht2s49baSY-IU8cdwU3hoLd6A/s320/Marion_Kummel.jpg" /></a></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p>Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-41332944459769949062020-08-25T14:50:00.008-07:002020-09-07T09:49:25.893-07:00Where I've been the last 7 or so years. <p> </p><p class="MsoNormal">I’ve made a film. A feature documentary, “<a href="http://fightingforallergyfreefood.com/">Fighting For Allergy-Free Food</a>”.
It’s taken me WAY WAY longer to make it than I’d planned. I figured research a
year, shoot for a year, edit quickly, get in film festivals, see what happens.
Maybe 3 years tops. So here I am, I’ve lost count, maybe 7 years later? And it’s
JUST finally available for anyone with a computer or smart-tv to see. I
certainly had no idea it would be during a pandemic. Maybe the best time for a
streaming film to be released…when everyone is home and run out of things on
Netflix and Amazon. Thank you I<a href="https://www.indierights.com/" target="_blank">ndie Rights</a> for making that happen. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I got delayed, and delayed, and delayed after my shooting. I
edited, I ran through a bunch of editors, I had a computer crash, I turned it
over to someone, <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/austin-anderson-b3368328/">Austin
Anderson</a>, and it finally got done. While I was “waiting” (and most of you
know I don’t sit quietly, ever), I compiled 2 companion books to go with the
film. “<a href="https://www.lulu.com/search?adult_audience_rating=00&contributor=Tamar+Kummel&q=%22fighting+For+allergy-free+food+The+extended+interviews+tamar+kummel%22&page=1&pageSize=10">Fighting
For Allergy-Free Food: The Extended Interviews</a>” (for people who want extra
information and read each transcript at once) and, “<a href="https://www.lulu.com/search?adult_audience_rating=00&contributor=Tamar+Kummel&q=%22fighting+For+allergy-free+food+The+extended+interviews+tamar+kummel%22&page=1&pageSize=10">Fighting
For Allergy-Free Food: The Cookbook</a>”, which is my pet project I’d been
working on for YEARS and thought I could kill 2 birds with one stone. Thank you
to Sean Harris of <a href="https://www.facebook.com/MaverickSeanPhotography/">Maverick
Sean Photography</a> for being my taster guinea pig and taking all the great
photos for every recipe. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Why did I make this film? Thanks for asking. About 15 years
ago my osteopath, <a href="https://www.healthgrades.com/physician/dr-george-kessler-yfmq5">Dr. George
Kessler</a>, asked if I’d ever been tested for food sensitivities. I said no.
At the time, you could get a complete blood workup in NY State. Now it’s outlawed.
Yup. I had so many reactions, I had no idea what was left for me to eat.
Certainly nothing in my apartment. And nothing I normally ordered for delivery.
And I had no clue how to cook. It was before there were Gluten Free products
everywhere. Before labeling on packages of allergens. Before anyone had even
heard of gluten free. It was upsetting, terrifying, depressing. However, I
became an awesome cook (thank you to <a href="https://www.carlacontreras.com/">Chef
Carla Contreras</a>, <a href="https://www.hipcooks.com/">Hipcooks</a> and many
more places), I went from sleeping 10 or so hours a night and still being
exhausted all the time, to sleeping 7 hours and having lots of energy. My
migraines reduced. My mood improved, my nightmares lessened, my depression
reduced, my IBS reduced. It really was a miracle. Unfortunately, food allergies
are ever evolving and all food is not produced the same. So I still have to pay
close attention to what bothers me and what doesn’t, and keep adjusting as
needed. (Dairy and coconut are evil. Wheat can make some small appearances. Don’t
eat chocolate before bed, or really ever. No raw food. No beans. No bananas,
blueberries or strawberries. Et al) <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When I was young, my mom, Marion Kummel, suddenly, in her
late 40’s? Developed a giant reaction to corn. That’s also when genetically
modified corn became everywhere and in everything. My mom was suddenly calling
every company asking what was in their products, because “natural flavoring”,
vinegar, vegetable oil, and 100 other ingredients can be made from corn. She’s
lived a nightmare the whole rest of her life (currently 93) and had to learn to
cook better and to ask a LOT of questions when she went out for food. She would
take antihistamines at dinner to be safe, but they also had corn in them,
because they all do.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So. Clearly food allergies, intolerances and sensitivities
were becoming epidemic. And what’s the difference? And why is corn not listed
in the allergens on labels? And so many more questions came to mind. So I went
after answers. I read a ton of books, articles, websites and pursued every
person. And then every person I interviewed, I asked them whom else I should
interview. My favorite farmer, <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-snow-662a05159/">Michael Snow</a>
told me early on that I wasn’t going to find answers, but I’d find more
questions. He was 100% right. And it became my tagline. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Most of the interviews took place around 5 years ago. And a
lot of people have switched jobs by now. A great person, <a href="https://academic.oup.com/cid/article/59/12/1805/2895681">Dr. Gene
Stollerman</a> passed away shortly after I interviewed him. But sadly, there
still are no more answers than there were then. Farmers markets have exploded,
which is fantastic. Organic food is everywhere, even Walmart. But the average
person is still popping pills for heartburn, migraines, exhaustion, depression,
rashes, cancer, MS and so much more. They think this is normal. It’s not.
Examine what you put in your body and if it makes you sick, DON’T EAT IT! <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I made this film not for all of us that already know we have
food sensitivities. I made it for all the people that DON’T know. For all the
people in middle America that aren’t bombarded (like the coasts) with organic food
and nutritionists in every corner. I made it for everyone who hasn’t felt well
for years, and their doctor has no idea why. And for my mom and all the other corn allergy suffers that have gone unheard. I asked all the questions YOU
wanted answers to. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So please, <a href="https://play.google.com/store/movies/details/Fighting_For_Allergy_Free_Food?id=xEQoYHwDOdM.P">watch
the film</a>. Buy the <a href="https://www.lulu.com/search?adult_audience_rating=00&contributor=Tamar+Kummel&q=%22fighting+For+allergy-free+food+The+extended+interviews+tamar+kummel%22&page=1&pageSize=10">books</a>.
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/fightingforallergyfreefood/">Like</a>,
review, share, post. Get angry about our food system. Join the movement to
fight for allergy-free food. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Thank you, Tamar<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://FightingForAllergyFreeFood.com">FightingForAllergyFreeFood.com</a><o:p></o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheWAreCI5hk6S2PeVIXCndopbbNTF5l_LbIPyNGNkMChu8JYY6mQQFAvI0_XV3bFWHB7O0ZZ7H4HOTLo5VxvFpspIkZo1dKTqFq7ze_l2k4KcTcGkC3WG7JgeD4f9LYVzuQyK6yZZSDQ/s1600/FFAFF_KEY-ART.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheWAreCI5hk6S2PeVIXCndopbbNTF5l_LbIPyNGNkMChu8JYY6mQQFAvI0_XV3bFWHB7O0ZZ7H4HOTLo5VxvFpspIkZo1dKTqFq7ze_l2k4KcTcGkC3WG7JgeD4f9LYVzuQyK6yZZSDQ/s640/FFAFF_KEY-ART.jpg" /></a></div><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p>Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-91390302395416351452020-04-03T10:59:00.002-07:002020-04-03T10:59:41.032-07:00April 3, 2020<div class="MsoNormal">
April 3, 2020<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNHWIITUNlWCylpvkH7DT7UXl3eRJH5KWirUVm2bZaIjEj8MIicj2pvxfl7DVZOur44xI5cq6xb5cW-5PIN4UJ0BkmdvBM93HljqQxAMRwdwgmwUWdoQ-sBld9M516gE1H1Jk39UGucg/s1600/08_Drew_Vervan_02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1063" data-original-width="1600" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNHWIITUNlWCylpvkH7DT7UXl3eRJH5KWirUVm2bZaIjEj8MIicj2pvxfl7DVZOur44xI5cq6xb5cW-5PIN4UJ0BkmdvBM93HljqQxAMRwdwgmwUWdoQ-sBld9M516gE1H1Jk39UGucg/s320/08_Drew_Vervan_02.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Things change daily. And thinking about what I’ve written
recently, I know things and feeling may change along with the world faster than
I can process. But here’s today’s thoughts. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To set the scene: I’m in NYC. I’m in a 600 square foot, 1
bedroom apt with my boyfriend. He usually lives in Jackson Heights, Queens. But
his apt is in the epicenter of the epicenter. So thank god we chose to stay at
my place so he could work from home (totally new to him), and not be alone. If
you’ve not seen my place. I don’t have a balcony, or backyard, or great view (I
mostly see the building 40 ft away, but I look down onto my downstairs neighbor’s
back garden/patio). What I do have, is 2 tvs, cable, good wifi, a home phone,
great grocery stores nearby, and quiet. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know everyone is worried about us being in NYC. We see it
on the news just like everyone else. It looks like the pandemic is causing pandemonium.
And it is, but only if you’re at a hospital. For the rest of us, it’s eerily
quiet. You walk out on the street and there’s no cars, no horns, no people, no
stores open. New York City is now the City That Only Sleeps. Except for 7pm
each night, when we show our appreciation for everyone still working the front
lines. People clap, cheer, bang pots and pans, and tonight there will be
singing too at 7:30 of, “Lean on Me” out of people’s windows and balconies.
From inside my apt, it feels like a prison break. I can hear others, but not
see them. From outside on the street, it’s extraordinary seeing people that
usually avoid looking at each other, being happy to see each other and waving,
wishing each other well. We know what’s happening out there. But inside my tiny
apt, I feel safe and totally calm. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yesterday was my birthday. I had a very small zoom
conference “party”. It was great! I didn’t have to just have my friends that are
in the town I’m in. I had friends from all over the world and the country get
to “meet” each other for the first time, after hearing about each other for
years. I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Everyone is dealing with this in their own way. I know for
the very active (socially and physically) this is extremely challenging. But my
life hasn’t changed too much. My routine is the same: exercise, cook for fun,
watch too much TV, sit at my computer the rest of the time and hope to get a
little work done. I love catching up with friends in whatever way, and now I
have the time to do it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So. As of today, April 3, 2020. I’m healthy and doing fine.
I have a good support system in place. My folks are still safe in their
assisted living in NH. And we don’t FEEL the insanity that we know is just a
few blocks away. Stay home. Stay safe. Wash your hands right now. Tell everyone
you love to do the same, and tell them you love them. Because that can spread
fast too. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-37960235740045710212020-03-23T06:20:00.001-07:002020-03-23T06:20:41.630-07:00Since massage is cancelled...how to stay healthy<div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
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So clearly, any upcoming massages are postponed for now. So a little advice for yourself to stay healthy:</div>
<div style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
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1) If you feel sick at all, do NOT exercise or self massage at all. That just spreads the illness around your system more. That's the time to just rest in bed, drink lots of fluids (chicken soup of course). </div>
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2) Please take this time to meditate, even if it's 2 minutes a day to just sit quietly and breathe deeply. </div>
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3) Do not watch the news 24/7. It's never healthy, especially now. But do keep informed. </div>
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4) If you are healthy, do spend more time exercising than eating! There are tons of online workouts for the home, everything from yoga to boot camp. You don't want to spend a month gaining 10 lbs and 10 years trying to get rid of it. </div>
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5) Work on new recipes that are healthy. Don't binge on comfort food. The sugar, fat and calories will make you more sluggish, emotional and possibly depressed. You want fighting food! So make big stews with lots of green veg and beans, quinoa, lean meats, etc. Instead of letting your house smell like disinfectant, let it smell like stew! There are some great online cooking classes (<a href="http://www.carlacontreras.com/" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">http://www.carlacontreras.com/</a>) and my cookbook (<a href="https://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?keyWords=fighting+for+allergy+free+food&type=" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border: 0px; font: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" title="https://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?keyWords=fighting+for+allergy+free+food&type=">Fighting For Allergy Free Food</a>). And if you're home with kids, now's an excellent time to teach them about cooking, cleaning, and taking care of themselves. </div>
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6) Self massage. Again, do NOT do this if you feel at all sick. But do use rubber balls or tennis balls for your own trigger point work. Lay on the floor so your body can relax and put the ball under you wherever you have knots and just sink in up to 100 seconds. Use your favorite lotion to massage your feet and hands and anywhere you can reach. Take baths. Steam your face and massage it, along with your scalp. Throw a dance party for yourself. </div>
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Sending good health and love to you all. </div>
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If you have any medical questions, or exercise, or food, or anything. Please don't hesitate to reach out. </div>
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Sincerely, Tamar</div>
Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-42827084600353470692020-03-20T07:40:00.004-07:002020-03-20T07:41:22.939-07:00Why to react NOW <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here’s what this reminds me of: As a massage therapist I’m
constantly telling clients, friends and family that if they have some small
injury, to take care of it IMMEDIATELY. Say you hurt your wrist, or shoulder,
or ankle. And you think, “eh, I can live with the pain for a while, it’ll get
better.” But you don’t get it x-rayed. You don’t rest, ice, take Advil, or get
PT. Instead, it gets worse and spreads up your leg/arm. So now, 20 years later,
you can’t raise your arm fully. You can’t lift heavy things. You also have knee
pain and hip pain. Now you need a hip replacement, because you didn’t rest your
ankle 20 years ago when the original injury happened. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
People don’t look at the long game. They think things will
go away. They don’t. You have to take smart, immediate action to prevent what
is a worse situation. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2 days ago a very close friend had a heart attack. He’s 48.
He’s been super stressed, unhappy and not in good shape. And he knew it. But he
put it off. He’s just lucky that he was next to a doctor when it happened and
now he’s home and hopefully going to be OK. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Do not take risks now. Not with your health. Not with other
people’s health. Take care of yourself, your loved ones, our city, our state,
and our planet NOW. Before it’s all gone. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<br />
Be safe. Peace.Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-86576060821917404932020-03-13T09:21:00.001-07:002020-03-13T09:26:05.745-07:00corona is making me more relaxed <br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not a panic person. Not when other people are panicking.
I understand people think I’m a control person, or a perfectionist. I’m not. I
LOVE it when other, capable people are in charge. And I think most things are, “good
enough” and there is no such thing as perfect. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s why I love to fly. I’m
not flying the plane. I can sit back and relax and do other stuff. And if
something goes wrong…not my fault, and probably nothing I can do about it. It’s
also why I loved doing stand-up comedy. Because if I screwed up a punch line, I
could actually say, out loud, “I screwed that up!” and get a bigger laugh (not
that that every happened). And you know what, there’s nothing I can do to stop
corona virus either. I can continue to live exactly the way I’ve ALWAYS lived
in NYC: don’t touch anything without gloves or a sleeve, wash my gloves a lot,
don’t ever touch my face, and the second I walk into my house (which I keep
very clean), I wash my hands. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s how I was brought up, and that’s still how
I am. Air on planes has better circulation and filters than any building in NY.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I’ll tell you something else. From a spiritual
perspective, this is AMAZING. This is a global crisis, which is also a global
opportunity. We know, up to the minute, who is sick everywhere in the world. We
have to work together, one planet, one soul, one support system. It’s not the
USA that’s having issues. It’s tiny towns everywhere in the world. One friend
in Holland suggested this is the perfect time (if we’re all sitting at home) to
video chat and catch up with every friend around the world. We are living
through (and yes, we will LIVE through it) a major event in global history.
That’s really something. I lived through Presidential assassination attempts,
9/11, recessions. Nothing has ever come close to this kind of worldwide
historical significance. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And while this is happening, life still goes on. I have
friends and family dying and fighting to stay alive through cancers and other
illnesses. I have daily chronic pain and illnesses that I still have to focus
on every day. Yes, I won’t see a show or concert for a month, or celebrate my
birthday with 100 friends. Or take a trip to Italy. And I’m VERY lucky that I
have enough money (and toilet paper) to sustain me a month or more. So I don’t
have that concern. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But panicking will not help. Just like the day after 9/11
panicking didn’t help or change the situation in any way. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So try to keep the big picture in mind. This too shall pass.
And we have to support every person across the world. So be nice. Be well. You
may need to borrow some toilet paper. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-76408780133994608112019-11-06T21:29:00.001-08:002019-11-06T21:30:11.757-08:00Be grateful you can eat anything<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last night I cried at Pizza Rev in LA. This is not a usual occurrence-me
crying in public. Especially not at a make-your-own-pizza-place. As the manager
was fixing my pizza: gluten free crust, dairy free cheese (that I still shouldn’t
be eating because it has coconut oil in it, which also makes me sick, but it’s
my only cheese option), and a ton of other stuff that I hope will make it taste
like real pizza, she starts telling me how her doctor suggested she go
gluten-free because of eczema. My first thought was, “hey! Great doctor who
knows that’s often a symptom of gluten sensitivity!” But then she said she
could never go gluten free because she likes bread too much. I love bread. I
miss bread. I grew up near a bakery and that was my favorite smell in NYC (the
only GOOD smell in NYC). My gluten free pizza has less flavor, and is smaller.
And costs more. I wish I could eat cheese.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish, when I
visited France, that I could walk into any store or restaurant and eat
everything. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t eat ANYTHING. I walked into a candy
store in France and said I was gluten free and the woman looked at me and,
indicating everything in the store, said, “NO!” She also said that France was
getting more educated about allergies and I should, “come back in a few years.”
I walked outside and burst into tears. I’m in France NOW. I’m hungry. I already
have a headache, and am exhausted and depressed because I simply cannot get
waiters to stop giving me things without dairy and gluten in them, no matter
how hard I try. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is not a CHOICE people. Don’t you think I would love to
go back to Fairway in NYC and taste my way in cheese around the world? Or have croissants
from any bakery? Of course I do. Do I WANT to pay more for every sandwich I
find (a rare find) to get bread that does NOT hold together at all and ends up
as dust on my plate? No. I do not. So please. Think about what you say. And if
you’re eating a slice of real NY pizza now, or a sandwich that was easy to
find, or real ice cream, or can walk into any store and find lots of things to
eat…be grateful. And don’t shame the rest of us just trying to make it through
the day without pain, or falling asleep, or depression, or brain fog, or…<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-31316594391563197072019-06-05T14:14:00.000-07:002019-06-05T14:14:01.550-07:00Casting Actors: Color Blind. Gender Blind. Age Blind. From <a href="https://www.studentfilmmakers.com/casting-color-blind-gender-blind-age-blind-by-tamar-kummel/?fbclid=IwAR15yCkUvuIdV9C0eB6bR2rEniG6oWpApeZ3vYDqFDkd7mrRYBV3SHjpYCs" target="_blank">Student Filmmakers Magazine</a> June 2019. By Tamar Kummel<br />
<br />
<h1 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; clear: both; color: #3a3a3a; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 2.66667rem; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 1.2; margin: 0px 0px 20px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Casting</h1>
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Color blind. Gender blind. Age blind.</h4>
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By Tamar Kummel</div>
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Think about some recent movies or TV shows starring Meryl Streep, Melissa McCarthy, Sandra Oh, Denzel Washington, Morgan Freeman, Robin Williams or any other of your favorite actors. I bet you can’t picture that movie or TV show starring anyone else. They are perfect. But I will bet you that ½ those roles were not meant for them. They were written for someone younger, thinner, whiter, and possibly male. Each one is ridiculously talented, and also not a 25-year-old, white male.</div>
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I would like to propose a new thought process. A new way of thinking about characters and casting. And a new way of looking at the world. Not from your point of view, but from an inclusive, global way.</div>
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I want you to think outside the box. Think outside when writing. Think outside when casting. So many times, we pigeon-hole our thought process. We “write what we know.” But I bet you know a lot more diversity than you even realize.</div>
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Oftentimes as writers, we get restricted by what actually happened. We think, “I’m a 20-year-old male, so the character has to be too.” Or, “this is about a family, so they all have to look alike.” Or the worst thought, “Only males talk this way.” But I can assure you, women talk about everything, at all ages. We curse, we laugh, we talk about sex. And some of us, lots of us, don’t want kids, don’t think about kids, and are not just moms. And you know what, if we are moms, we still have names. It’s not just, “Mom.”</div>
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It’s 2019, people. Families look all kinds of ways. Two dads, two moms, light skin, dark skin, you name it. Their kids can be adopted from all over the world. People marry at all ages, even into their 90’s sometimes (I’ve seen it). They have kids at all ages. And best friends don’t have to be the same sex.</div>
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People of all ages still date. They still work. They still have hopes and dreams and experiences.</div>
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Just because you picture your scene with two men in their 20’s, may not mean you couldn’t cast two women in their 40’s. Think about it. Does it change the integrity of the scene? Not every male/female scene is subliminally about sex. They can be best friends, enemies, or strangers. Imagine you wrote a scene between two people sitting around talking. What did you picture? Twenty-five year old males? Fifty-year-old, black women? How about 60-year-old Asians, one male, and one female? Does the scene change? Does it get better? More interesting? Diversity is normal. It’s interesting. It’s easier to tell characters apart. It’s more reflective of our society. And it’s a good thing to do.</div>
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There are 100,000 actors in New York City. There are 400,000 actors in Los Angeles. These are actors of all ages, all types and sizes. Great actors with a wealth of experience and talent. They want to work. And they can make your project more interesting. Give them a chance.</div>
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<img alt="Author Tamar Kummel" class="alignleft wp-image-676582 size-full" height="225" src="https://www.studentfilmmakers.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/Tamar-Kummel_PhotoCourtesyOfMaverickSean.comPhotography.jpg" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; display: inline; float: left; height: auto; margin-right: 1.5em; max-width: 100%; vertical-align: middle;" width="150" /></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #3a3a3a; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, Oxygen-Sans, Ubuntu, Cantarell, "Helvetica Neue", sans-serif; font-size: 18.75px; margin-bottom: 1.6em; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Tamar Kummel is an actress, writer, director, and producer in New York City and Los Angeles. She’s easily found on IMDB, social media, and anywhere that serves food. She’s usually wearing purple. She recently completed her first feature documentary, “Fighting For Allergy Free Food.” Along with 2 companion books. More information on current projects, clips, resumes, and books on her websites: <a href="http://tamarkummel.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #0274be; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: all 0.2s linear 0s; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">TamarKummel.com</a>, <a href="http://captainpurpleproductions.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #0274be; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: all 0.2s linear 0s; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">CaptainPurpleProductions.com</a>, <a href="http://fightingforallergyfreefood.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #0274be; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: all 0.2s linear 0s; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">FightingForAllergyFreeFood.com</a>, <a href="https://tamarkummel.blogspot.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #0274be; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: all 0.2s linear 0s; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">TamarKummel.blogspot.com</a></em><br style="box-sizing: inherit;" /><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Photo Courtesy of <a href="http://mavericksean.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="background-color: transparent; border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; color: #0274be; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration-line: none; transition: all 0.2s linear 0s; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">MaverickSean.com</a> Photography</em></div>
Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-71013795350438971772018-09-24T09:08:00.000-07:002018-09-24T09:08:42.631-07:00#whyididntreport <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
#whyididntreport<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
High school: I only told my mom. But she didn’t suggest I
tell others. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was embarrassed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because I figured you kiss a lot of frogs before finding a
prince.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because I was manipulated so badly, I thought it was
partially my fault. Many times.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because it was my roommate’s boyfriend and didn’t want her
to know. She'd be mad at me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Because I didn’t know it was a crime. Just a jerk. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because I stopped him from raping me. So I thought “nothing”
happened. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because I didn’t know who to tell. Many times. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Because I was mortified. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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I called the police, but the police didn’t find them. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because it happened so fast I couldn’t even process what
happened. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because it happened to my friend, and she didn’t call it “rape”.
So it wasn’t my story to tell.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I told our mutual friend, and he told me to stay away from
him. End of story. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because this “first” felt like a violation. I didn’t know
how it “should” feel. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
#jamestoback Because it was just a “conversation”. I was
lucky to never be alone with him. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Because I thought my situation was unique. It didn’t occur
to me he was doing this to many others. <o:p></o:p></div>
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These are not hypothetical. These are mine. What are yours? <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-22600486705645222762018-07-06T09:44:00.002-07:002018-07-06T09:44:39.048-07:00Why Women Have Meetings in Hotel Rooms and Other Paradoxes of Acting<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
The other day I was having a conversation with a regular
person. A muggle. A real person. You know, not an actor. And he said, “I don’t
understand the Harvey Weinstein thing, how is he having, ‘meetings’ with women
in his hotel room? Who thinks that’s ok?” So I explained that a lot of business
is done during festivals, events, awards, shoots. That’s when you meet people. I
can’t audition for a film in a loud, public place like the hotel lobby lounge.
You end up going to people’s hotel rooms. And no warning bells go off. Because
this is normal. Often these are last minute invites. And you would never bring
a friend, or bodyguard to an audition. It would seem you didn’t trust the
person who invited you, and you’d seem unprofessional. I know that sounds
completely insane to a “normal” person. But it’s true. I hope that is all
changing. But there are or were a lot of things in the world of being an unemployed
(or even often employed) actress that seemed, “normal” for many years. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Have you seen the original movie, <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080716/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2" target="_blank">“Fame”</a> from 1980? Do you
remember the scene of Coco (played by Irene Cara) having the audition where
they ask her to take her shirt off? She resists, they insist, intimidate her,
and, on tape, they watch her completely strip down, while crying. She is
humiliated, and yet, she still does it, because you don’t say, “no” at an
audition. You might think that scene would never happen in real life. But it
happened all the time.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In fact, I had a whole series of experiences that I’m
guessing would shock people who were never actresses. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">Many times, guys would
come up to me on the street, ask if I’m an actress, and give me their card
stating they were a producer/director/agent. Those cards go in the trash.
NO ONE finds talent that way. But if it didn’t work, they wouldn’t be
doing it. <o:p></o:p></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">I had several auditions
that I thought the address was taking me to an office, but they were
people’s apartments. You don’t know who’s there, you don’t have friends
with you, and you just hope there are other actresses there too. <o:p></o:p></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">I had interviews with
several agencies that would say, “We love you, we want to represent you…you
just need new photos and you need to go to MY guy to take them.” Those are
illegal scams. Some took my money. One actually got me jobs and then never
paid me (small claims court). One yelled at me when I turned down a nude
photo shoot audition. <o:p></o:p></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">I had an audition for
something that when I got there, they asked if I had a bathing suit with
me (who carries a bathing suit, especially in New York City) and said they
needed to see my body, and a bra and undies was fine. I’m sure they were
just videotaping women all day changing clothes and in various stages of
dress. To be honest, I think I did it. And of course never heard from them
again. <o:p></o:p></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">I was freelancing with a
famous agent (female) who would hire women to be at parties for corporate
events. We didn’t have to kiss or touch anyone, but we were instructed to
look sexy and flirt with all the men. I did one or 2 gigs, but flirting
with 50 year old men when I was 25 was not my cup-of-tea. <o:p></o:p></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">I somehow made friends with
an old press agent. He would take me to dinners and parties and introduce
me to show biz folks. I’m sure he thought at some point I’d sleep with him
or someone. I wouldn’t even hug them. I just remember having this conversation
with him:<o:p></o:p></li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
Tamar: I really want to be on
Saturday Night Live.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
PA: They only hire Unknowns.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
Tamar: I’m unknown. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
PA: You’re not successful enough to
be an Unknown. <o:p></o:p></div>
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">I do remember at some
point, after years of this crap, having an interview with an agent in a
weird place and they said it would cost me money to join them, and instead
of being polite, I finally found my voice, stood up, told them they were a
scam artist and walked out. I never stayed in an awkward situation ever
again. At least professionally. <o:p></o:p></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1;">I also had a whole
afternoon conversation (very luckily in public the whole time) with <a href="http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/la-et-mn-james-toback-women-sexual-harassment-breaking-silence-20180107-story.html" target="_blank">James Toback</a>. I turned that into a short play, “The Seduction”. He had his whole
pitch DOWN! Including carrying his birth certificate in his wallet to
prove he was James Toback. He took me to the nearby Applause Bookstore on
West 71<sup>st</sup> St. (no longer there, and this was before cell
phones) to show me his listing in, “The Who’s Who of the Film Business”.
Talk about being intimidating. The things he said to me would probably
make a stripper blush. He suggested we go to a hotel for 48 hours. I did
not go. If I had…would I be famous? Probably not. But he sure made a good
case for it. <o:p></o:p></li>
</ul>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I could go on and on. The number of odd situations that you
find yourself in is endless. There are a ton of eccentric people that suddenly
decide to make movies. And a ton of scam artists that realize that young women
are so desperate to get their big break that they can convince them to do
almost anything if they think it’ll lead to a role in a film or tv show. And
since there are no real guidelines, no HR department, no union rep for
non-union jobs, and no chaperones, these people get away with a ton of sketchy
stuff. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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If I wanted, I could go into the whole lineup of guys who’ve
also sexually harassed me. Manipulated me into extremely uncomfortable
situations in every way in countless places. From Grand Central Station to my
own apartment. Conversations that start out flattering will suddenly turn to, “I’m
not leaving until you…” and then you start negotiating with them. It’s a lose
lose situation. I always felt I had to kiss a lot of lots of frogs before
finding my prince. Were these punishable offenses? I have no idea. Who would I
have reported them to? There was no internet. Could I call the police and say, “this
guy grabbed my boob and got on top of me, but I grabbed his hair and threw him
across the room so he left.” I don’t think so. Although the time that a bunch
of kids riding their bikes on the sidewalk grabbed up my butt so much that it
lifted me up off the ground and they kept riding, I did call the police. Just
to feel like I’d done SOMETHING. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wish I was leading to something. An answer. A solution. A
promise. But there isn’t one. We just need to talk to each other. Tell someone.
When crap like this happens, spread the word. It is NOT an isolated incident.
It’s not your fault. It’s not acceptable. Also, take self-defense class. Don’t
walk around in an unaware (drunk, looking at your phone, in shoes you can’t run
in, on dark back streets late at night) state. If you have auditions or
interviews in odd places, bring a friend. At this point, you don’t need an
excuse to have someone with you. And if someone asks you to do anything you’re
not comfortable with, don’t do it. Period. End of story. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-8128342366355063102018-02-01T13:52:00.001-08:002018-02-01T13:52:57.158-08:00Puerto Rico Jan 2018<div class="MsoNormal">
A few weeks ago my boyfriend and I were in Puerto Rico for
my cousin’s wedding. And everyone has been asking me the same questions I was
asking her, prior to our going.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Is PR still there? <br />
Can they still have a wedding? <o:p></o:p></div>
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How is the island doing? <o:p></o:p></div>
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Etc. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Hearing reports on the news is not the same as going there
and talking to the people to hear their stories. We were in Puerto Rico for 4
nights. We talked to every cab and Uber driver, and every person we met along
the way. And let me start by saying that everyone was incredibly nice,
generous, strong, resilient, and hopeful. All qualities that I can’t imagine I
would have in the same situation as them. They were all inspiring. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Flying in, you can see tons of homes covered in blue FEMA
tarps where the roofs are very damaged. So you start to see the effects of the
hurricanes before you even land. <o:p></o:p></div>
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As of Jan 11<sup>th</sup>, 30-40% of the island still didn’t
have power. But what the news doesn’t say, is that even the parts that have
power, don’t have it consistently. The power grids become overloaded very
quickly as they are repairing them. So people would get power for a few days,
then off a few days, or hours, etc. So they couldn’t depend on it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Evidently, the US government approved the rebuilding of the
original infrastructure, but not improvements. So instead of making a more
stable power grid, or burying the power lines, they can only put them back up
the way they were, which seems counter-intuitive for the future. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The rain forest is still not open for tourism. But the
wedding was in the rain forest (and yes, we got rained out of having the
ceremony outdoors) and driving through the hills, you see that all the houses
have no power, and all the power lines are falling down. I was actually shocked
that we, in large busses, were allowed to drive through at all. The place where
the wedding was, Hacienda Siesta Alegre was running on a generator. It’s a
beautiful place, high upon the hill. I don’t know what it was like before the
hurricanes, but the roof was so damaged (not enough for a FEMA blue tarp
though) that shelter from the rain was challenging, since it was still raining
on us inside. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Tourism is still up and flourishing. The cruise ships never
stopped coming, which was a big blessing to PR. However, the increase in the
number of ships has been a challenge for the tiny island, already crowded in
the Old San Juan area. We were told that normally, there are always 3 cruise
ships there. The max was 6. And the week after we left, Marti Gras there, they
were expecting 12. We could not MOVE in our Uber in the area, so I can’t
imagine there being 9 more ships there at once. But they’re very grateful for
the business, because it’s the only thing keeping them going. One driver said
that right after the hurricane, drivers would sit at the airport for sometimes
12 hours just hoping to get even one ride during the day. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Driving around the island was definitely a challenge. Almost
all of the stop lights were out. So cars have to use the honor system to merge
and turn. Very slow process, but they’re certainly used to it after 4 months. I
will say, Uber is not welcomed there by cab drivers (understandable) and since
the hotels have agreements with the cab companies, you can’t call an Uber at
the hotel. You have to walk a few blocks away. And if you’re too close, the cab
drivers start screaming at you. Our Uber got EGGED by a cab driver. And our
driver didn’t even flinch. And, how’s this for synchronicity, when we called an
Uber home maybe 6 hours later…we had the same driver. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We had a discussion with people about Puerto Rico becoming a
state. They said it might have been more likely before the hurricanes. But with
most of the natural resources being destroyed, it wouldn’t be financially
beneficial to mainland USA for PR to be accepted as a state. So their chances
lessened, just when they needed it the most. A huge percentage of
pharmaceuticals and IV drips are produced in PR. And now that the plants have
been damaged, the US is running extremely low on necessary supplies. Ask any
hospital. And yet, our government doesn’t seem to understand the value, or
basic decency of helping our territory. They think they’re doing a great job of
getting things back to normal. But there will never be a return to normal. Only
a new normal. And think about how YOU would feel without phone, TV, a computer,
internet, or a refrigerator for 4 months or more. I don’t think anyone could
work fast enough. <o:p></o:p></div>
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My hats and heart go out to you Puerto Rico. Thank you for
letting me visit. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.redcross.org/about-us/our-work/disaster-relief/hurricane-relief/hurricane-maria-relief-information#Domestic-Response">RedCross.org</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.almostlikepraying.com/">http://www.almostlikepraying.com/</a></div>
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Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-66905631075496235422017-12-02T11:25:00.002-08:002017-12-02T11:25:38.178-08:00Massage Safety advice<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">This week over 100 allegations of sexual misconduct came to light at Massage Envy, a national chain of massage locations. They kept all the allegations quiet, instead of reporting to the police. I’m not going to comment on what Massage Envy should or should not have done, and I’ve never worked at a Massage Envy. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">But it does bring me to contemplate any past experiences I’ve had getting massages, or that I’ve heard about from others, and some advice to give people wanting to get a massage. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I’m extremely saddened and worried about the number of suits brought against Massage Envy, and about how ME handled it. There is already tremendous discrepancy between what people think about massage, or think they know about massage all over the country, and the world. Licensing and certification for massage therapy is different from US state to state, and from country to country. In the US, currently 43 states have some sort of regulation. But states like Vermont, still have NO regulation at all. Meaning you could simply call yourself a massage therapist and start practicing, with zero training. Compare that to states like NY that have over 1000 hours of training requirement before taking the state exam. And NY also require a certain amount of continuing education every 3 years (including Ethics) just like any other medical license. No wonder massage is respected in some areas, but not in others. No wonder most insurances don’t cover massage therapy, even though sometimes it’s THE BEST treatment for certain muscle conditions. And no wonder that massage has always been the butt of many jokes that cross lines about ethics, decency, morality, and sexuality. Until we have a national basis of training requirements and ethics, those lines will always be blurred. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">That said, if you’re in a state that has licensing or certification for massage therapy. I highly recommend that you go to licensed massage therapists. I’d say 100% of my clients have never asked if I’m licensed, although it clearly shows all my certifications on my website and business card. There are plenty of massage therapists that are talented bodyworkers, intuitive and considerate without being licensed. But I would not go to them. Ask them, before you book a massage, where they trained, what their specialties are, etc. Because you want to know that they know when to NOT give you a massage. That they know how to drape you to protect your privacy. That they speak your language and can communicate well with you about your comfort level and what you want to focus on. And if, God forbid, there was an inappropriate incident, you can report them to police, the American Massage Therapy Association, or with any other massage union which they might be affiliated. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">If you go to get a massage. The therapist should go over health history and current complaints with you first. They should make sure you don’t have open wounds, broken bones, contagious conditions, a fever, or a whole host of other conditions that would prevent you from having a massage. They should NEVER undrape private parts or breasts (unless you have specifically discussed this ahead of time for special conditions). If they brush against something they should not have (and I think in over 20 years of working this has NEVER happened by me), they should immediately acknowledge and apologize. Because if they don’t, they’re either clueless, or inappropriate. And either way, say you’d like to STOP the massage and GET OUT. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I believe massage should feel GOOD. I believe you should feel cared for, relaxed, and safe. You should not be in real pain at any point. Not physically, and certainly not emotionally. So many clients say, “just do what you do. I trust you. You work as hard as you need to.” Etc. But it’s YOUR body, YOUR massage, YOUR money, YOUR time. You should walk out feeling better. You might be a little sore for a day or 2 depending on the treatment. But you should absolutely not feel worse. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Even I have received bad massages. Massages where I was touched inappropriately. Massage where I was undraped inappropriately. Massages where I was massaged too hard, for too long. And it’s definitely challenging to say, “STOP.” You want to trust your therapist. You want to not be thinking, “Wow, that’s weird/uncomfortable/unnerving.” If you do. GET OUT. And tell someone. Anyone and everyone. Because if they’re doing it to you, they’re doing it to others. And they need to be held accountable. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">I feel badly that I never complained, or reported people that I probably should have. You want to be, “nice” you second guess yourself. You convince yourself that it’s not a big deal. And you don’t want to over react. Especially as women, I think we have a people-pleaser personality a lot. And I think many people prey on that and use it against us. Don’t let that happen. Stand up for yourself. Walk out. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">But please don’t stop getting massages. </span>Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-15135664084585347722016-05-23T07:16:00.000-07:002016-05-23T07:16:04.432-07:00Cannes, Final Day and merci!<div class="MsoNormal">
Wed May 18, Day 3 of Cannes<o:p></o:p></div>
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Read <a href="http://tamarkummel.blogspot.com/2016/05/cannes-film-festival-24-hours-to-get.html" target="_blank">travel</a>, <a href="http://tamarkummel.blogspot.com/2016/05/cannes-day-one-getting-our-barings.html" target="_blank">day 1</a> and <a href="http://tamarkummel.blogspot.com/2016/05/day-2-of-cannes-anyone-want-flyer.html" target="_blank">day 2 </a> first!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Wed morning I thought, screw it, we brought a bunch of
dressy outfits here and haven’t used them. We CAN walk around in jeans all day.
But we can just as easily wear a ball gown and tiara and fit in. So we picked
something fun to wear and headed right to the red carpet. Well, the street in
FRONT of the red carpet, and took a few photos. Here’s the secret about Cannes,
you have to apply to attend the biggest screenings. We tried to apply, but
probably did it wrong, and/or didn’t get any tickets. So we didn’t get to go.
And, other than our own film, we hadn’t seen any other films. And so we tried
to go to a screening of an upcoming American film, and didn’t get in. So we
tried plan B and got into a collection of short films. I won’t say which ones.
But as I’ve always said, seeing horrible films or performances inspire me more
than brilliant ones. I certainly don’t seek them out, but when it happens that
I see something dreadful, I KNOW I can do better. And these shorts were…inspiring.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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After that, we had the weirdest dining experience of the
week. A kebab shop on the side street, totally packed. And reminded me of the
restaurants on restaurant row in NYC where the guys stand outside and
practically wrestle you into their business to keep you away from the other
places. The service was startling. I watched them move a pair of women, in the
MIDDLE of their eating, to a smaller table to be able to seat a trio. I had
food served to me OVER another table (because the tables all abutted each
other). I asked for more sauce, and they brought a giant squeeze bottle out,
leaned over someone else, and just squirted a whole ½ cup of it onto my plate.
Not gently. No asking. And they were NICE about it, but it scared the crap out
of me and made me laugh very hard. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In the afternoon, we took in 2 more panels. A live podcast
of Screen Talk, and a panel on fundraising for short films. Which didn’t really
talk about fundraising, but did talk about producing short films and was
interesting. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Our last meal, we met up with Karolina again and slowly
walked home wandering through streets of shops we never saw open. Tomorrow
morning we eat breakfast and leave Cannes. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Did I achieve everything I’d hoped? Nope. Not even close. My
favorite lecture (David Lyman) always talked about how to set goals at the
start of a week such as this. That before you come, you set goals. Day 1 you
realize half those goals won’t be achieved, and you create new ones. But
really, the best weeks are ones that inspire you to make a list of what to do
AFTER that week. I came home with a stack of business cards, new contacts. A
stack of flyers of my film to send to people. And enough inspiration to create
more films and get to go back to Cannes, bigger and better. I’m glad I went. I’m
proud of myself for all the French I spoke. I didn’t have nearly as bad luck
with eating as I did <a href="http://tamarkummel.blogspot.com/2015/10/france-this-summer-sans-gluten-et-lait.html" target="_blank">last summer. </a><o:p></o:p></div>
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It was an honor to be invited. Thank you all for the tips,
the support, and reading my travel log! <o:p></o:p></div>
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for more photos and posts, please see our <a href="http://facebook.com/thankyoulisashortfilm/" target="_blank">Thank You Lisa Facebook page</a>! </div>
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Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-4719134431115195682016-05-22T13:40:00.001-07:002016-05-22T13:40:12.472-07:00Day 2 of Cannes Anyone Want a Flyer?<div class="MsoNormal">
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Tues May 17, Day 2 at Cannes<o:p></o:p></div>
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If you missed the <a href="http://tamarkummel.blogspot.com/2016/05/cannes-film-festival-24-hours-to-get.html" target="_blank">Travel Day</a> or <a href="http://tamarkummel.blogspot.com/2016/05/cannes-day-one-getting-our-barings.html" target="_blank">Day 1</a>, check that out! </div>
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Happy Norwegian
Independence Day! Marthe’s from Norway and trying to make connections there.
And she spent a lot of time today celebrating the holiday as best as possible.
And I’m sporting 2 tiny Norwegian flags in support. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Today we went to one of my bookmarked breakfast places. Much
cheaper, equally lovely. We also stumbled upon a flea/farmer’s market, which is
my favorite thing. And I picked up 2 tiny souvenirs, although our last day I
went back and bought shoes! We walked through the shopping area of town and I
found the coolest chocolate shop. I know I can’t really eat chocolate, but I
had to try a million things. So beautiful and yummy. And yes, THAT was one of
my favorite parts of today. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The rest of the afternoon was pretty frustrating. We ran
between Short Film Corner, The American Pavillion, the Documentary Corner, and
town. Here’s the thing, the festival is HUGE. None of the above are in within
100 or 500 ft of each other. So it takes time to run around. I think we did
25,000 steps today (wearing my garmin pedometer!) and it’s tiring! Especially
since we’re basically still carrying all the flyers we ordered, and we cannot
find places to put them. We hand them to people we’re meeting, along with our
business cards, but I would not order flyers again. Every stack we’ve put down
has mysteriously disappeared shortly after. Also, there are many people to meet
with at the Documentary Corner, but they’re almost 100% international type
buyers. No one really is connected to the US (at least that I could find) and
so there wasn’t anyone I wanted to meet with. I had gone on Cinando (the
festival website to connect all industry people at several major festivals) and
contacted many people ahead of time, but nothing came through. So we’re winging
it all. As some of you know, I’m ridiculously freakin’ shy when it comes to
approaching people or walking into a crowd. So Martha started walking up to
people she didn’t know and introducing me. Or daring me. Whatever she could so
I’d actually talk to some documentary filmmakers, which I so desperately wanted
to do. Thank you Martha. And when I say there’s a crowd, I mean, we went to the
SFC happy hour and there were probably 400 people crammed into a 70 foot space.
I started hyperventilating. Texted Marthe (thank you Verizon, money well spent)
that I was hiding all the way in the back), she found me and we skedaddled
somewhere I could breathe. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Also today, I went to a documentary panel and keynote
address. But although I love watching documentaries, I’m just not into that 99%
of them seem to be about horrible, depressing topics. There are fun stories too
people! It started late. I’m jetlagged. Comfy seats. You get the picture. Good
nap. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Also the nice part of today was Martha and me having dinner
right on the water, but away from the festival. And again I’ll say that I find
everyone in France to be incredibly lovely. I’m a New Yorker. I’m used to
people bullet pointing everything they say and do and not giving a damn about
me. But when I ask for directions, or help with ordering food, etc, I think
everyone could NOT be any nicer or more helpful. Although I will say, I’ve
worked my butt off learning French this time and it has REALLY helped. So I
approach in pretty good French and maybe that’s a better jumping off point. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It should also be noted that while Marthe and I spent time
at dinner talking about life, and the festival, we also discussed business and
our future together. So we networked with each other. We cultivated our
relationship. And we confirmed that we like working together. And THAT is what
this business, and networking, is really about. You meet people. You like some
of them. You work together. It goes well. You want to do it again. That’s not
just how films are made, that’s how ALL work is made. So when someone snarky
says, “It’s not WHAT you know, it’s WHO you know.” Well maybe they already met
that person and didn’t like them. And who wants to work with people they don’t
like?! If you’re a pain in the neck, no one wants to work with you again. And
word gets out fast. I’m pretty demanding. I expect professionalism on set. I
expect people to be organized and respect my time and effort. I expect them to
be talented and have vision. I have no patience for anything other than that. I
expect a film set to feel like a team, or a family. A functional, kind family.
And if it doesn’t…I’m moving on and not looking back. It’s a 2 way street. And
today’s street’s in French. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Speaking of streets. I said we brought flyers. Waste of
money. Not only are they heavy, and we couldn’t find places to leave any, but
eventually, Marthe started handing people on the street, on the way home, a
flyer. I laughed hysterically the whole time she did it. She even put some on
motorcycle seats that were parked. So yes, I’m afraid we may have littered in
Cannes. Desole.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-58269678402053891902016-05-20T09:10:00.002-07:002016-05-20T09:10:27.369-07:00Cannes Day one, getting our barings. <div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Monday May 16<sup>th</sup>, 2016. Day 1 of Cannes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Seriously, thank goodness Marthe has such a great sense of
direction and has been to the city of Cannes before, or I’d be lost every
minute. She marvels at me several times a day and says, “really? You don’t know
where you are?” But together we make a good team. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">We started with a wild goose chase for the elusive
breakfast. We wanted to pick up our passes for the Short Film Corner, and then
to the American Pavillion, where we also have passes (BTW, that’s the only country’s
pavilion that charges an entry fee). There are breakfasts at the SFC, but you
have to sign up for them. And we got confused. We just kept asking people where
the breakfast was, and was sent to a producer’s breakfast where we were not
invited. So we roamed around side streets until we found a great, but
unbelievably expensive place to eat. It was really good, but wow. I accidently
ordered 2 orange juices and so I drank a 6 Euro juice I didn’t want. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">The rest of the day was mostly exploring the festival. They
gave us welcome bags with a LOT of catalogs and schedules. And it weighed 20
lbs. So I tossed most of it at breakfast while Marthe unbelievably carried it
all around all day. I had brought 6 lbs of flyers and cards about our film,
“Thank You Lisa” and I had to put them in a separate bag so I wouldn’t be over
the weight limit. So I was not about to repack my bag with more weight to go
home. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">There were only 2 good things about having passes to the
American Pavillion (AmPav), and FYI if you are only going to the festival for a
few days, you can buy day passes for 20 Euros, which we did not know. 1:
charging stations and wifi. But honestly, I bet almost every pavilion has that.
We did at the Norwegian one too. And 2: panel discussions. And AmPav might be
the only Pavillion to have those. Today we went to 2 panels, one on the state
of documentaries and one on women in film. Both interesting. Although jetlag
was not helping me. There’s also a mini restaurant at AmPav where you can get
American food. But really? I’m in France. Why would I want American food? They
also have a bizarre company supplying coffee type drinks, power bars and other
supplements called, Bullet Proof. Mr. Bullet Proof was there talking and
signing autographs. It’s supposedly all natural. But the stuff in it, was not
stuff I wanted. Every cup of coffee has about a 1/3 a stick of butter in it.
I’m dairy free. And I don’t drink coffee. But even if I did. I don’t want it in
the same cup. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<h5 style="background: white; margin-bottom: 1.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">The best thing today was our meeting of a group of women
from LA. It’s a secret group. I can’t tell you who they are, or I have to kill
you. But we connected prior to Cannes and then had a little drink hour. We
expected 8 or more, but it was a tight 7 here, Marthe Einseth, Jane Clark,
Reena Dutt, <span class="fcg"><span style="color: #90949c;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/karolina.m.mikolajczak"><span style="color: #365899;">Karolina
Mikolajczak</span></a></span></span>, <span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #666666;">Fawzia Mirza</span>,
Alisson Fhal, and me. They’re awesome women. So I was really happy to sit and
chat with Americans in a relaxing atmosphere and hear about other people’s
experiences here and in media in general. </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "Helvetica",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></span></h5>
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Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-34953220942478252392016-05-17T00:10:00.000-07:002016-05-17T00:10:53.591-07:00Cannes Film Festival, 24 hours to get there. <div class="MsoNormal">
Cannes Film Festival, Short Film Corner <o:p></o:p></div>
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Sat 5/14 to 5/15/16<o:p></o:p></div>
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So a great short film I'm in, "Thank You Lisa" about end of life choices (I play the counselor/friend assisting the daughter to help her mom end her life) was accepted at the Cannes Short Film Festival's Short Film Corner in France. It's basically the biggest, most overwhelming film festival in the world, and the SFC is a tiny fest within the fest where young filmmakers (no laughing at the word "young") go and get to mingle with the higher ups. Marthe Einseth is the amazing writer/actress/producer who put together this film, along with director, Roy Arwas and his production team. And I'm really proud to be a part of it. Marthe and I decided to attend the festival together. This is her first festival. And she doesn't speak French. This is NOT my first festival, and I've been working intently on French so I won't get lost. Marthe has a great sense of direction. I do not. And she's the perfect companion/compliment to my travel tendencies. </div>
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I had a sense of impending doom instead of excitement as I
left my NYC apartment at 7pm on Saturday, knowing I wouldn’t reach my next
residence in Cannes, France until about 7pm the next day…for a 3 ½ day trip.
Crazy. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I travel a lot. And
mostly on my own. But since I don’t have terribly good luck traveling in
foreign countries on my own, I was a bit nervous. Or freaking out. But quietly.
Inside my head. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Leg 1: JFK to London
Gatwick. No problem. Sean (my boyfriend) helped me roll my suitcase to the
subway and I knew it’d be fairly easy the rest of the way. I hate overnight
flights. But I am a fairly good sleeper, and I got some REM in, during the 7
hour flight. <o:p></o:p></div>
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London Gatwick. OK. I
choose this connection. I wanted English speaking, “smaller” airport. But
because I booked on skypicker.com (which I’d never heard of), I had 2 different
airlines. And that meant, I had to completely exit, going through customs (I
have Global Entry and TSA Pre Check, but Gatwick doesn’t have that yet),
getting my luggage, go back through security, and re-check in for my next
flight. The airport lounge/shops/restaurants are great. I found my favorite, a revolving
sushi bar. Super fast and I know I can eat there. The unique thing is that
people stand around the sign that posts the gate, just like Penn Station or
Port Authority. I checked my flight, and it would be another 30 minutes until
the gate was posted. Really? I hadn’t changed my watch, and I’m not used to a
24 hour clock, but that was the only flight to Nice, British Airways. So I ate
my sushi and then checked again. Now they’re announcing it on the loud speaker,
and I can see on the board, as I run by, gate 104. Shoot. I’m at the completely
wrong end of the terminal. So I giddyup. Get to gate 104 and it’s EasyJet, not
British Airways. Weird. But I get in line. Dumb. Once I reach the gate person,
she says I’m at the wrong place. Go find a BA person (no boards nearby). I find
one, she looks it up…gate 574. Yup. That’s exactly where I was, 15 minutes ago.
The exact opposite end, last gate. She says, “RUN!” So I run. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Here’s the only lucky
part. Because I checked baggage, they really didn’t want to leave without me.
OR, they’d have to remove my bag from underneath for safety. So I come running.
And they see me. The plane’s closed. The gate’s closed. BUT, they yell, “what’s
your name?” “Kummel! 28A!” (they turn to their co-workers outside) “It’s her!”
DAMN are you lucky. Open the door!” <o:p></o:p></div>
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So that means, anyone
on my plane that’s continuing to Cannes, is going to recognize me as THAT WOMAN
that held their plane up and went to the wrong gate. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I did have a whole
row to myself, and did NOT burst into tears upon reaching my seat. Or throw up.
But I would have, should I have missed my flight. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The rest of the
evening was mostly uneventful. Got the bus from Nice to Cannes. Got a cab to my
Airbnb. Great apartment that straight up the hill from town. With a beautiful
pool I’ll probably never get to use. I sat in the lovely back patio just to say
I did. And I didn’t get too lost looking for a place, any place, to grab food
for the evening. Martha, my filmmaking partner for this venture, joined me
later on and we made a plan for Monday. <o:p></o:p></div>
Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-11239530437394888082015-10-30T10:49:00.001-07:002015-10-30T10:49:36.233-07:00France this Summer, sans gluten et lait.<div class="MsoNormal">
I said, “I’m going to France!” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And everyone said, “Oh, wait til you taste the bread, the
cheese, the wine!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I said, “I can’t. I’m <a href="http://tamarkummel.blogspot.com/2011/08/things-i-dont-like-to-talk-about-topic.html" target="_blank">gluten free and dairy free</a>. I can’t
drink alcohol. And a whole bunch of other things.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They pause for reflection, then say, “Why are you going to
France?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Good question. I had a vision of my boyfriend and me driving
through the French countryside, through the gorgeous vineyards (with wine I
can’t drink, and he doesn’t either), stopping at amazing places to eat along
the way. I heard a rumor that things were changing and there’d be gluten free
options for bread. Maybe dairy free options for cheese. But what about
everything cooked in butter? Cooked in cream? I’m living on the edge. I booked
the trip. 9 nights, 3 in Paris, 2 in Strasbourg, 2 in Beaune, and 2 in Annecy.
Along the way, we hit Colmar, Dijon and Lyon too. THEN I did my research. I
found about a dozen places in Paris that have gluten free options, or things
well marked, you know the kind, destination stops for people like us, people
who have to ask a million questions before we eat anything. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And oh yeah, I don’t speak French. At all. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, add learning French to my preparation for an already
lengthy preparation for this trip. I memorized the most important thing first,
“Je suis allergic a gluten et lait.” I wasn’t emotionally prepared for the
looks I got from every candy store worker, waiter, dining room attendant. They
looked at me so sadly as if they’re thinking, “You poor girl. Why’d you come to
France? There’s nothing to eat in this whole country for you.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The good news is everyone knew what I said and they knew
what it meant. The bad news is, only about ½ the waiters could actually figure
out that cheese has milk in it. Butter is milk. Fried things encased in batter
is gluten, and oh yeah, I can’t just peel that layer off. Occasionally I would
find the nicest restaurant staff who would try their very best to make sure I
could eat. But it was heartbreakingly few and far between. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The good news is, since July 1<sup>st</sup>, 2015, (we went
July 2<sup>nd</sup>) every restaurant in France is required to have a list for
the customers of all allergens in every dish. The bad news is, in about 20
meals, only 2 times was this offered to me. A waiter told me most restaurants
are lazy and don’t have it yet. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The good news is, if you’re going to Paris, there are those
dozen bakeries with gluten free options. But, unless you know the French
schedule, everything’s always seemingly closed when you want to get there. Lunch
is generally over by 2, and most places don’t reopen til 7pm for 2 to 3 hours.
3 of 5 places I bookmarked were closed when we tried to go. I was happily beside
myself to find an Exki (a chain with really well marked food and several
options, including the ONLY gluten free pastry I found, a tiny chocolate
brownie) at the Paris airport when we flew home. So I ended up having lots of
food stash in my carryon bag for the 8 hour flight back to New York City. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you’re venturing past Paris, you’re going to have very
few options depending on your food restrictions. There are plenty of macarons,
but one person can only eat so many of those. And even a woman running a
macaron stand (the American kind, not the French kind) told me to not eat
anything there. At our 4 hotels, I had various reactions from my servers to my
breakfast (breakfast is always included) requests. I had some amazing breads,
but I also was brought a 1980’s rice cake. Some places had soy milk, some
didn’t. No one went through the buffet telling me what I could eat safely. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you speak French well, you might have a much better time
finding food and communicating with the servers. I was told at the gorgeous,
massive, candy store filled with 100% nothing I can eat, that the country’s
definitely going in the direction of being more aware and creating more
options. And that perhaps, in another 10 years, it will be easier for someone
like me to travel in France. It was still beautiful. We still drove around. We
met lovely French people every day who were only too happy to help us find our
way, and then apologize for how bad their English is. Really? Lovely people. It’s
all incredibly rich and yummy, and then makes me feel awful, lethargic and
depressed. Not ever worth it. All my reviews of hotels and restaurants are on
yelp. Many more photos are on facebook in folders of the town names. Bon voyage!</div>
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<o:p></o:p>Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-77606246616762123972014-10-14T10:52:00.001-07:002014-10-14T10:52:47.818-07:00Finding your food sensitivities. 2014 and 2015 for me is all about 1 project. A <a href="http://www.captainpurpleproductions.com/" target="_blank">feature film documentary</a> on food allergies, sensitivities and intolerance. Now that I'm way out of the closet about <a href="http://tamarkummel.blogspot.com/2011/08/things-i-dont-like-to-talk-about-topic.html" target="_blank">my own food reactions</a>, I wanted to find answers to why this is becoming more prevalent. Is it because wheat, corn, soy, dairy and eggs are in EVERYTHING? Is it because of all the genetic modification in food production? What are we doing about this epidemic? IS it an epidemic? And what about the food label debate? What do we put on labels so that we know what's in our food? I think the real question is WHY do we need labels at all on food. Why are there ingredients that we don't know what the chemical properties are, what's in them, or how to pronounce them? And how does most of the country still not know the difference between healthy food and not healthy food? Oh, so many questions. I'm interviewing doctors, lecturers, authors, editors, farmers, politicians and advocates to get to the bottom of this. And what I'm finding is: more questions.<br />
<br />
Because of this journey, I've recently been getting a lot of questions from people about how to start an elimination diet to look for food reactions. It seems overwhelming and depressing to avoid gluten or corn all together. I agree. And after my original testing, I had a LONG list of foods to avoid. There was absolutely nothing left in my kitchen that I could eat. And I didn't even know where to begin. Especially because at the time, I didn't know how to cook. That's since been remedied. I HAD to learn to be a great cook. Because I couldn't buy packaged food anymore. This was maybe 14 years ago. Nothing said, "gluten free" on it at that time. Nothing had food labels. So I had to stick to real produce, and real proteins. And so should you.<br />
<br />
"WHY should I look for your own food sensitivities?"<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>You may have reactions you don't realize are coming from the food you eat. Do you have headaches, bad skin, congestion, IBS, brain fog, lethargy, Fibromyalgia, joint pain, nightmares, anxiety, depression, acid reflux, etc? You name it. It can be related to food. I interviewed <a href="http://ibstreatmentcenter.com/about-us/meet-dr-wangen" target="_blank">Dr. Stephen Wangen</a>. He said that if you take your pet to the veterinarian, the first question they ask is, "What did your pet eat?" So why don't our doctors automatically ask us that too? </li>
</ul>
<div>
"I don't eat a lot of corn, breads or pasta. So I don't eat much corn or wheat. I don't eat tofu. Etc."</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>I hate to tell you, but there are thousands of items in the grocery store and pharmacy that contain wheat, corn, soy, dairy and eggs that you're probably eating every day. You take vitamins? You take aspirin? You eat ANYTHING that comes out of a box? Do you eat conventionally produced proteins? They're all eating genetically modified corn and wheat as their main feed source. Even if you aren't eating something that looks like a loaf of bread, you're still probably eating at least a trace amount of wheat at every meal. If you're eating fast food, or food that you didn't make from scratch, you most certainly are. All soups, all salad dressings, all breading, etc etc. </li>
</ul>
<div>
"How can I avoid it all? And where do I start?"</div>
</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Educate yourself. Shop at your local farmer's market and start asking questions about how food is raised. Start cooking food from scratch. Stop eating anything out of a box. Look at the list of foods that contain gluten, corn, or whatever you're trying to avoid. You need to completely avoid the food for weeks at least. And THEN you can try one tiny amount, and wait at least 4 days to see if you have a reaction. Every person is different. You may be able to handle a bite of something once a week, but not every day. You might be able to eat spelt, but not semolina. It's trial and error. But start avoiding 1 major group and stick with it religiously. And perhaps you'll notice your energy changes. Your skin clears. Your headaches go away. There are a ton of resources and support groups. Use them. Or ask me. I'm here for you too. </li>
</ul>
<div>
And check out <a href="http://www.glutenfreeandmore.com/" target="_blank">Living Without Gluten and More Magazine</a> and <a href="http://www.delightglutenfree.com/" target="_blank">Delight Gluten Free Magazine</a>. Fantastic resources. </div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-3928802829982370832014-08-28T04:37:00.002-07:002014-08-28T04:37:51.164-07:00Traveling With Food Sensitivities In IrelandRecently, I found a fantastic website called, "Allergy Free Travel" and they were very happy to have me as a guest blogger this month to talk about my trip to Ireland.<br />
<br />
Enjoy!<br /><a href="http://allergysafetravel.com/2014/08/traveling-to-ireland-find-out-what-our-guest-blogger-has-to-say-about-it/">http://allergysafetravel.com/2014/08/traveling-to-ireland-find-out-what-our-guest-blogger-has-to-say-about-it/</a><br />
<br />Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7215957441038913576.post-46705184665900333872014-01-27T19:34:00.001-08:002014-01-27T19:35:03.147-08:00Patience<br />
Patience<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 15.454545021057129px; line-height: 21.299999237060547px;"> I prayed for patience my whole life. Telling myself the story: I have no patience. I want what i want, when i want it. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21.299999237060547px;">I've just come to the realization that </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 15.454545021057129px; line-height: 21.299999237060547px;">you can only approach the future with patience OR anxiety (or in other words: with acceptance OR the intense fear that you can't control the future). I clearly chose the fear. But if I practice acceptance, in all facets of my life, then i will have achieved my goal to learn patience, and achieved the goal to gain patience at the same time.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 15.454545021057129px; line-height: 21.299999237060547px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 15.454545021057129px; line-height: 21.299999237060547px;">I choose to STOP telling myself that I have no patience, and just accept what happens as a gift, and release my hope to control the future. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 15.454545021057129px; line-height: 21.299999237060547px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 15.454545021057129px; line-height: 21.299999237060547px;">And my favorite recent found quote: The best way to predict the future, is to create it. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 15.454545021057129px; line-height: 21.299999237060547px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 15.454545021057129px; line-height: 21.299999237060547px;">Sounds pretty simple right? </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 21.299999237060547px;">Have you read my blog on <a href="http://tamarkummel.blogspot.com/2010/06/loving-oneself.html" target="_blank">Loving Oneself</a>?</span></span><br />
<br />Tamar Kummelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07442600309382904006noreply@blogger.com0